She came, she saw, she cooked a Christmas dinner...

Yes, it is true. The Christmas fairy does exist! Although she is actually a bit of an overweight, overworked mother of two, wearing an apron, rather than wings and armed with a mop instead of a wand! Everything got done, the presents were wrapped, meal was cooked and even the table looked great. I am not sure how I did it, but it got done in the end. Amazing, isn't it? Sometimes the best way of getting something done is just to start and then somehow, it gets there in the end. Although, I must admit, I did have a little help, no A LOT of help from my guests. Thanks a million to Kobus and Amanda for all the extra cooking and to Rika for the beautiful presents and for spoiling my kids rotten! All in all it was a wonderful Christmas and I am in serious need to start Weight Watchers tomorrow.

I hope all of you had a wonderful Christmas and will have a blessed new year. Who knows what is waiting for us in the year to come. All I know is that I am going to seriously have to take my weight into account, this Fat Saturday thing has actually extended into a Fat Month and now it is time to slam on the breaks. (Although the tray of Lindt Chocolates Rika left here does NOT help).

Lunch is served!

My beautiful Christmas table

Place Settings

 

I am sorry that the last few blogs have been so short, but as I explained before, it has been a bit hectic around here. I promise to add all the recipes I've tried out over the last few Saturdays in the new year. There was a wonderful Ragu we made with the Bakers a few Saturdays ago, but Ella's teeth has stood between me and finishing that blog. It is awesome and a must for winter, so I will post it as soon as the New Year festivities are over.

I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a glorious, blessed New year! From all here at Fat Saturdays (me, in other words), have a good one!

Until the new year...



It was the night before Christmas...

Well it is that time of the year again. The time where the magical Christmas Fairy comes and cooks a great meal for 6, decorates the house and the Christmas tree and wraps all the presents in beautiful paper and finishes each one off with a beautiful bow. Yes, that wonderful Christmas Fairy, how I cannot wait for her arrival at our house, for if she doesn't, I am afraid those presents are not going to wrap themselves, the lamb is going to stay in the fridge and the fairy lights are going to stay in their box. I've had all the best intentions to get things done sooner, but as my sanity is running out with a teething child on my hip, I know that if she is only "pretend", like her boss Santa, I am in big trouble.

See, there is another thing they forgot to inform (or warn) us about. When you become a mom, besides all the regular responsibilities, you also automatically inherit all the festive and celebratory responsibilities. These include all birthdays, religious celebrations like Christmas and Easter and also all Hallmark created frivolities. Yes, It is ALL your responsibility and when you do not deliver, you get pairs and pairs of tear stained eyes staring up at you, blaming you for ruining Christmas. I have no idea how my mother did it all. I just also accepted that these things happened all by themselves. I had no idea that it all depends on me! I think I am going to campaign for the day before Christmas to become a public holiday as well, as husbands have to be at work, and can thus be of very little help (or maybe that is why they do NOT have it as a Holiday yet!)

Anyway, let me get cracking, there is A LOT to do and only one of me. But one thing I do know, is that when Mia puts out the cookies and milk tonight for Santa, there will be a little apron and broom right next to it and some recipes a few ingredients. Maybe, just maybe, when we wake up tomorrow, Mia will find her wrapped presents under the tree and I will find a beautifully prepared meal and a clean house!

10 Things they should have taught us at University

OK, so I lied. I am addicted to it, I cannot go cold Turkey. It is impossible to go a week without it. I must moan again! And yes, it is, as always, about the same things: housework and children! Some may call me predictable, some may call it spoilt, but this superwoman thing is getting the better of me. I don't know how to do it all: work, kids, homework, husband. It's just too much. I know, I am weak, I know there are millions of woman out there who do exactly the same thing I do, but I am just wondering HOW? If you are out there and you are reading this and you are a superwoman, please could you share your pearls of wisdom with me!  I suppose it was less stressful when we didn't have kids,  at least everything stayed clean for longer than 2 seconds. But now, I turn my back to put something away, just to turn around and find something new in its place. And then, there is the actual work that they pay me to do and not to mention my poor husband. The poor man has to be satisfied with burnt dinners and a grumpy wife who is suffering from a serious lack of sleep due to a teething baby. Oi vey!

I definitely am lacking some serious skills in the mother/housewife department. Come to think of it. I studied to be an Architect for 5 years at university and the did 2 years practical at a firm in Hermanus, South Africa, before studying Building Contracts to write my Professional Practise exam. My subjects included Environmental Science, Theory of Structures, History of Architecture, Graphic Communication, Design and a whole bunch of other stuff I don't seem to remember. It was good, it was educational, but what I secretly wish is that they taught me something a little more useful! So as I am currently involved in curriculum development for Architecture students, I thought I would give it a bash to come up with a far more useful curriculum for Mothers-to-be. For instance, I would include subjects like:

1. Stain Removal for Beginners: Course Code: VomitOut 101

Students will be taught to remove any stains, caused by projectile baby vomit or other excretions, from delicate items of clothing, carpets or furniture. Learn how to remove Butternut Orange, Spaghetti Bolognese and Cottage Pie stains from the shoulder areas of a White Cotton shirt , Silk ties and  Suede cushion covers.
In this module, new mothers will also be taught the art of removing baby poop from white cotton vests. Students will investigate this delicate art by exploring different methods of bleaching, thus avoiding just dumping the said item in the nearest bin.

2. Multitasking for New Mothers (how to cope when you only have two hands):  Course Code: ToesRurFriend999

Here new mothers will be taught to look at their body in a different way. Feet are not just for walking, they can actually be an extra pair of hands, toes can be fingers, mouths and lips can also hold stuff. Thinking of your body in this new way opens up a whole new world of possibilities. (Please Note: ONLY Recommended for students with extra ordinary flexibility and dexterity)

3. How to be in two places at once for Mummies. Course Code: Stretch911

This course is recommended ideally suited for mothers with twins, triplets or generally those with more than one child, but other mothers, like those needing to work while watching a baby, will also benefit. For this module, we employed the services of a wonderful guest lecturer Elastagirl, from the hit movie The Incredibles. Elastagirl will teach you her secrets of stretching yourself to your limits and thus literally, being in two places at once. It is recommended that this subject is combined with the above mentioned Multitasking for New Mothers as body parts will have to be retrained to do the work of others. (Please Note: ONLY Recommended for students with extra ordinary flexibility and dexterity)

Elastagirl: Hand Stretch

Elastagirl: Leg Stretch

 

3. Extreme Showering ( from dirty to clean in 3.4 seconds): Course Code: Notsmelllikebabyvomit 123

Specially tailored for moms with babies who suffer from reflux and other ailments that prevent them from sleeping for longer than 5 seconds. In this subject you can learn to shower, wash your hair, dry off and at least put on a dressing gown in 3.4 seconds. (Module 2 includes Dressing with one hand while breastfeeding)

4. Fake grooming: Course Code: PasstheBroach101

How to fake looking well groomed, when you only had 3.4 seconds to shower and dressed yourself with one hand while breastfeeding a baby. Learn to fool even your colleagues by looking stunning at the office Christmas party after being vomited on by strategically accessorising.

5. Ignoring illnesses (how to make yourself believe you are feeling great, when you should actually be quarantined) Course Code: Achoo!!911

You are only imagining you are sick, but they really are! Learn to cope with the fact that when you are sick, every one in the house immediately becomes sicker than you. It is all mind over matter. You will feel better instantly (Please Note: The University will not accept any responsibility for actual death or hospitalization of students, this is just a coping mechanism, you ARE ACTUALLY sick!)


6. Juggling: Course Code: BigHands 10
This may seem obvious, but it is indeed one of your core subjects. In this day and age it is important for a new mother to learn how to juggle a career, family, marriage and stay thin at the same time (without going insane) as dropping one of these balls may have serious consequences. It does help to have done the course with Elastagirl before embarking on this Module, as severe stretching of all limbs is essential in order to pass this course.

7. Communicating with toddlers: Course Code: NoNoNoNoNo 111
How to repeat the same answer over and over and over and over...Students are advised to purchase a Dictaphone or similar equipment for this subject. There is nothing wrong with recording a few standard phrases like: "No!", "Put it down!" or "Because I said so!"

8. Sleep Deprivation for Beginners: Course Code: NightNight 2000
It is recommended that you start this training at least a year before you become a mother. Train yourself to cope with only 3 hours of sleep a night and if the baby sleeps allows you to sleep longer than this, it will seem like a gift from above. Please note: Never get lulled into a false sens of security that they are now sleeping through, there is always something that will make you regret you bragging to your friends about this later on!

9. Telepathic communication (with your partner): Course Code: Readmymind 101
When babies are finally sleeping it is sometimes impossible to verbally communicate with your partner (screaming is known to wake up a new born). It is thus important that you learn to telepathically communicate with your partner, especially if he/she is downstairs and you are in desperate need of a pee. Learn to transmit messages like "Please bring me another bottle before she starts screaming again" or "I need to go to the loo desperately so please come take over".

10.  Stay calm when times are tough. Course Code: Theydogrowupeventually 999
It is true, they do eventually grow up. This is a closing course to teach you stay calm, count to 10 and remember that they will eventually grow up. Students are advised not to mark the days till this happens on a calender or even purchase or make a type of baby advent calender for this purpose, as seeing the actually amount of days before they can walk, talk etc. may become depressing.
Students are advise to keep the following words of wisdom in mind when applying for the above course: "Motherhood: the longest days but the shortest years" Lady on British Airways flight to South Africa


What has this got to do with cooking you may think. ABSOLUTELY nothing! Stefan and I had a week from hell with a teething baby. I did manage to make the most beautiful Beef Ragu amongst all this mayhem on Saturday night, but I will blog about that later. I just had to get the above out of my system.

I wish for a peaceful night, I wish that we will get some sleep and I hope that I will remember to stay calm and keep in mind, that one day, she will grow up.

Until...later...

The madness continues.

I must stop moaning so much, but it is hard to give up something when you are so darn good at it! It is also one of my favourite past times and I try to do it as often as time allows. I really must stop, but before I go cold turkey, I will indulge myself one last time. Here goes:

Is it just me, or has this world gone mad? I know it is a cliche and every generation probably feels the same way, but seriously, being prohibited from filming your own daughter at her own ballet recital because it is against some Health and Safety law, must be the maddest thing I have ever heard. Health and Safety? Health and Safety! The new catch phrase to stop anybody from doing anything.
"Please do not let your children climb trees in this wood as it is against Health and Safety laws"
"Please do not take out a camera and record your daughter doing a twirl in her ballet outfit as it is against Health and Safety laws"
"Please do not sit on the grass..."
"Please do not tap some one on the shoulder.."
"Please do not ...blah..blah..blah..."
Lets all wrap our kids up in cotton wool, put them in little glass boxes and put on white rubber gloves when we take them out to disinfect their little cages. Good grief! I am sick and tired of all these laws, rights and thingemewhatsist that prohibit us from doing normal things. What about Common Sense Laws? Those who have it please use liberally, but I guess some Health and Safety officer will be quick as a whip to stop that from happening too, using some excuse like: Over usage of brain may cause independent thinking and who knows what that may lead to?

The only photo I took of Mia at her ballet recital before
I was told not stop this terrible behaviour!
I had to edit the other girls out of the picture for legal reasons.

I know all these rules and rights started off as a good idea, but boy have they gone sour. I guess I never understood the saying :"The road to hell is paved with good intentions", until now. I mean, these were all good intentions, but they have now all become our stepping stones to hell as we curse our way through life. Human Rights, good idea, but as we all know, this right has completely overstepped the mark as well. There are endless examples of the criminals rights being placed above the victims as we all know.
My husband can come up with some gems sometimes. As we were listening to some bloke babbling on LBC radio about something he said: "You know what the problem with the world is? They don't know the difference between discrimination and discernment". I thought that was rather wise and rather accurate. Do we still know what the difference is?

The worlds gone crazy and we all have to live in it. Who knows if we will be allowed to cross the street, make a fire or even cook our own food in the future. These are all very dangerous things. Maybe my Saturday night feasts will be a Health and Safety risk in the near future. Mad to think about, but will it become illegal to cook for friends? Will your kitchen have to have a Health and Safety inspector come around to check every time you invite people around for a meal. It may sound crazy, but you never know. It used to be okay for kids to go climb trees in the woods and to film your daughter in her ballet class.

Well, before this becomes the case, I at least got to light some birthday candles in my own house on Saturday evening. Yes, it was my birthday. I turned 29 again, for the 7th time. It was a mad evening. One thing I did learn is that parties at your own house in the UK is strictly for summer. Kids cannot play outside in the snow. Health and Safety and all! Boy, was it a bit crowded. I completely forgot to take pictures of the food. The only photo I did manage, was the kids blowing out my birthday cake (the best chocolate cake recipe in the world! See below!). Although it was chaos, I had to savour the moment as the little faces blew out the candles. One never knows how long this activity will still be allowed, maybe at my next 29th birthday I will have to let them use a fan to blow them out, or better still; have pictures of birthday candles. Surely nobody can get hurt from a candle drawn on a piece of paper! Well, that is if you do not consider paper cuts.

My 29th (+7) birthday cake.

Until next week....

Ouma Hannah's Chocolate Sponge Cake Recipe:


Mix together:

½ Cup of Boiling water
3 Table Spoons of Cocoa Powder

In a separate bowl, mix together:

1 Cup Flour
1 Cup Sugar
3 Tea spoons Baking Powder
½  Tea spoon salt
1 Tea Spoon Vanilla extract
1 Table Spoon Instant Coffee Powder
½ Cup Sunflower Oil
Mix the two mixtures together
In a separate bowl beat
4 Egg whites (stiff but not dry)

Mix the 4 yolks separately and add to the Flour Mixture

Fold in the egg whites.

Bake at 180 C ( I forgot for how long, but until you can stick in a knife and it comes out clear)

Leave to cool in the oven for a while before taking out.

Enjoy!This is the perfect cake for making those kiddie creations. I usually double the recipe to make a proper size cake.

3 Reasons I haven't blogged this week...

I know EVERY person in the UK is using the snow as an excuse.; my students, the post man etc etc. So I am going to jump on the bandwagon. I've not a moments' peace this week.

Reason 1:

Blame it on the snow..

Which led to Reason 2 and 3, staying at home due to school closure and illness...

Poor sick Ella

Mia experimenting with pony tails

Thus me missing work..

and not having a quiet moment to write a proper blog...

Please be patient...
next week should be better.

Although I can quickly mention that the Chicken Korma was great. Jamie does it again. Nothing like a curry on a snowy winter evening.

There they she goes again. It's no fun having or being a sick baby!
Until next week.

The Practical Prince

It is Prince and Princess fever over here. With the happy couple getting married on the 29th of April next year, the real life fantasy has begun. I mean, every girl dreams of marrying prince, right? Now here is some one actually doing it! But I guess, the term prince means different things to different types of girls and it also probably depends a lot on the age of the girl in question.

I mean, when you are a 4 year old little girl,your requirements are basic. Your prince:
1. Must own a horse, preferably one named Sparkles.
2. Must own a castle that should at least be covered in pink jewels.
3. Must have an above average aversion to evil stepmothers.

When you grown up, the criteria seems to change. He does not necessarily have to be a prince, a doctor or lawyer will do nicely. The horse becomes a Mercedes, the castle becomes a villa in Spain and the evil stepmother becomes, well, lets not go there. Anyway, you get the picture. Nothing wrong with that, but as I was putting the gezillionth load of washing into the machine and folding the umptieth pair of socks, I had a thought: Why do we not dream of the more practical type of "prince"? Let me explain: If you live in this country and your prince is a lawyer or a doctor or even a banker, laundry is still your baby. You can have the odd service to iron etc., but at the end of the day, does not matter how many degrees you have behind your name, at some point you are still going to fold somebodies underwear. Now my dear sister, as you know got married a few weeks ago, to a darling man. He is what I would describe as the perfect Practical Prince. Why you may ask. Well, I will tell you why: the man owns a LAUNDROMAT! Could you think of a more perfect? I mean, my sister will never ever have to wash a shirt in her life, let alone iron one! She also does not even have to drop the laundry off, she can give it to him to take to work in the morning. Now those are the kind of princes we need more of! Ladies, those of you who are not married yet, do not pull up your nose and the Indian Take Away owner or the Fish and Chip shop man. That's dinner covered. Do not look down on the Vacuum cleaner salesman, he can try out all his new models on your carpets,and the Window washer, do I even need to explain what a blessing he would be! To all my single friends out there, learn this lesson and learn it well. There is a lot to be said for these kind of blokes!
Now I am Katie will also never need to iron a shirt in her life, but if you are going to insist on going for that kind of Prince, it is going to be a long cold winter, cause lets face it, there ain't that many of them around. Well I suppose Harry is still on the loose, but lets be honest,  when he is looking to get hitched to a sugar mommy (cause yes, we are at the age where we can call ourselves sugar mommies!), it will be of the Demi Moore or Charelize Theron variety.

Well, sticking to the whole theme, I decided to keep it British this week. We are always cooking food from other countries, including our own, but never anything from the one we live in. So I made a meal fit for a Prince this past Saturday: Game Pie and Sticky Toffee Pudding. I envisaged a real regal pie. You know the dainty kind, the kind that when it is opened up, four and twenty black birds will start to sing all at the same time, but mine fell a bit flat. It is probably because I used a  game pie mix bought at Cobham market instead of the black birds. Yes, that must be it. To tell you the truth, I have no idea what was in the mix! I think it was pigeon and rabbit, but the third type of meat will remain a mystery. I am just glad that whatever it was, it did not burst into song when it was cut open. Probably a good thing, I don't know if a singing rabbit would have had the same affect.

The game pie still looking good

Oh dear. Yes well, atleast it tasted good.

 For afters (yes, that is what they call it here, not dessert, but afters) I made Sticky Toffee Pudding. I do not think that there is anything sweeter on earth than Sticky Toffee Pudding. I can't believe I am going to say this, but it was far too sweet for me. I had about a teaspoonful and that was enough to send me into a sugar shock for the next two days. Not my cup of tea darling, not my cuppa at all.

Sticky toffee pudding. As sweet as sweet can be.

..and then I made it worse by adding ice cream

Well I guess it is back to reality. Laundry and cooking and vacuuming here I come, but I do it all with love in my heart. I have a wonderful prince, he has been so good to me. I was just wondering, could I persuade my to open up a Laundromat as well? That would be awfully practical now wouldn't it?

Until next week.

The only thing we learn from history...

A wise man once said, the only thing we ever learn from history, is that we never learn anything from history. Nope, we, the top of the food chain with our over developed ideas and rationalisations, never seem to learn. It's not that we are stupid, or at least I hope it is that we are not stupid, it is just that we think that this time things will turn out better. It is like the Jerry Seinfeld bee in Bee Movie who tries over and over to get out of the window by flying straight into the glass, repeating the phrase "maybe this time, maybe this time..."

Well, maybe this time a royal marriage will last. Maybe this time the groom will not leave his gorgeous bride for one who reeks of cigarette smoke, grinning like an over brushed pony while reciting Hail Marys with the Pope. I find it ironic however, that the British media today insisted on comparing the engagement of Katie Middleton and her Prince William to that of his parents. Have they not read their own articles of the past 20 years?? Why on earth would you purposefully poke fate in the eye? Kate might have more luck by breaking her compact mirror while walking underneath a ladder towards Will in her wedding gown the day before they get married! I mean give the poor girl a break! It is bad enough that she has to wear her dead mother-in-laws engagement ring. I am so glad I got to choose my own and was not presented with a ring that signifies such an unhappy, broken marriage. The poor, poor girl. Lets hope she has the stomach for the job, for I sense round 2 of the paparazzi tunnel chasing madness may be upon us. And please, can all the new owners of Harrods please keep their sons safely tucked away in Qatar. It's bad enough that fate has a sore eye, we do not want to dangle a carrot in front of it as well.

Kate and Diana

compared in the Daily Mail today.

Photos from the Daily Mail

website: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/

I'm back...

 It is weird living in another country. You seem to forget where your actual home is. When you leave, you are all excited about going "home" and then when you are "home" you miss "home". Man it is confusing. I have no clue where home is anymore, all I know is that it is stressful going there, and it is stressful coming back. I wish I could go into more detail, but I guess the things that happended are too personal and I have to find a way of dealing with them myself. So I've decided to focus this blog on the lighter side of the events of the past few weeks when Fat Saturdays went  to Crawley and global, or rather African.

Fat Sat Part 1: Mia's Birthday

 

I am a mother ridden with guilt. My mother gave me the best birthday parties any child could ever imagine. I have the most wonderful memories of our "Shopping Party", " Maypole Party" etc etc. Every birthday I could request whatever cake I wanted. My poor mother! She made a cake that looked like a nurse when I was 5 and just came out of hospital, I had a kitten cake, I remember a Bennie Boekwurm cake and loads more. Before I had children I promised myself that I was going to do the same for them, a little too confidently I might add. So once again, this year, I asked my little girl what cake she would like for her fourth birthday party. The answer came as no surprise, a pink castle cake with all the trimmings. Well, little did I appreciate what my poor mother went through. There I was at 2 o'clock on a Friday evening, covered in pink icing and feeling very tired and upset that I took on such a mammoth task without having the proper equipment. At some point during the night, I felt like taking the pink pile of goo and dumping it all in the bin, but as my late nights at Archi school taught me, leave it till morning and decide then. Well, the person that had to be impressed, was and Stefan and I trekked this massive pink edible mountain through Crawley County Mall to the venue where Mia had her party. She was happy and I was happy that I could give my little girl the same thrill I had when my mother unveiled my cakes, although it cost me a lovely white shirt and a pair of trousers. I don't think I'll ever get the pink stains out of them...

My wonky pink castle cake

My mother did once again not disappoint. When we arrived in South Africa for Mia's actual birthday, guess what was waiting for her? The cake that tops any birthday cake I could ever make, a Barbie Princess cake! Who can beat that? I know it took a lot of work, but thanks Granny! What more could a four year old girl ask for, she got the castle and the princess living in it. WOW!

Ouma se Barbie koek

Fat Saturday Part 2: Madeleine

I have this friend called Madeleine. She is tall, has long black hair and wears contact lenses. She dresses in colourful clothes and sings while she plays the piano. She loves music and reading, hates racists and bigots and once you've tasted her cooking, you'd never want to eat any one else's. She is funny, she is bright and she is the most laid back person you'd ever meet. But what I love most about her, is that she will always take my side. I can tell her anything. She is always there for me, although she lives a gezillion miles away. She is my bestest friend in the whole wide world and I love her more that words can describe. We have been through so much together and we survived. Sometimes I cannot believe that we made it through that horrible night, but here we are, almost 15 years later, still friends and still alive. What a blessing.

I was so looking forward to spending a Fat Saturday with her and we did it in style. She invited friends around for dinner to her beautiful flat in Pinelands and we were going to do it like South Africans with "Kerrievis" for startes and "Vetkoek and mince" for mains.

We started off the day ingredients hunting at the Stellenbosch Slow Food Market. (I am so glad that I did not take alot of money with me. This is a place that you can get seriously fat with a capital F.) It is held every Saturday morning at the Oude Libertas Theatre in Stellenbosch. The food..the flavours..the wine. Too much to describe, best go try it out for yourself when next you are in the "bosch". I can however recommend the Moroccan pizza we had, which was somewhere between a pizza and a clazone. There is no better way to spend R50!

At the Slow food market

After this it was home time, and vertkoek making time. Now we are two pure bread South African girls. Can you believe that neither of us had ever made "Vetkoek" before! This was an injustice that had to be rectified and Madeleine jumped into the phone to dial her mother, the walking "Kook en Geniet". When Madeleine phones her mother at unexpected times, her mothers response is usually: "Watse resep soek jy?" (What recipe do you want?") before she even says "Hello". Armed with her "Vetrkoek" recipe, we started the lenghty, but well worth process. Mads, although you were not that impressed with your creation, the rest of us thought it was wonderful. Thank you to Pierre, Willemien, Nicky and Madeleine for the wonderful evening.

Fat Saturday Part 3: The Wedding

Weddings are emotional and stressful. I have just returned from such an emotional roller coaster. It was my little sisters wedding and she was beautiful. Probably the most beautiful bride I have ever seen. It was an absolute pleasure baking 260 heart shaped cookies, making 137 place cards, 26 menus, a table planner and decorating 12 tables. It was an absolute pleasure to see her so happy and it was an absolute pleasure meeting her new husband. One of the drawbacks of living on a different continent is that you are not always familiar with the people your siblings are betrothed to, but I think they both made a  good choice. I am so glad that I could be a part of their beautiful day.



My heart shaped cookies



I cannot however, restrain myself from offering little free advise to the owners of  LaPineta in Stellenbosch.Although your food was gorgeous and your venue stunning,  it is usually frowned upon when:

1. You make the bride cry the night before her wedding by referring to her as an unprofessional bride. As far as I know my sister had not made it her profession to be a bride. In fact I did not know that one could become a professional bride. No, wait a minute, I guess there are a few of them about. I am sure the likes of Angelina Jolie is selling seats to her weddings by now. She probably has a team ready to "wedding" her at any given moment. They are probably on 24 hour standby, armed with the latest Vera Wang gown and a truck load of confetti. You never know, you never know.

2. When you shout at some of the guests to "Gee Pad!" (Get out!) of the dining hall when they are examining the table plan. I think there is a more polite manner of asking people to exit the establishment, but that is just me.

3. When you ask the person setting the tables for 137 guests,  to start at 12:00am on the day of the wedding (and the wedding starts at 5pm). The person in question had to attend a family breakfast, help the bride get dressed, help the flower girl get dressed and also get herself dressed. People (meaning me) do careful planning before such an event and it is not always possible just to hand things over. Oi vey. What a headache.

But considering all the above, it was a wonderful wedding and everything looked great, if I must say so myself.

My heart shaped cookies in action

This Saturday coming up I going to opt for take aways, I do not want to see a cookery book or recipe near me. Time to sleep and recover, if the kids will let me. Ok, maybe not, maybe I will conjure up something for the hubby and I. I have missed him since I've been gone. We'll see...we'll see...

Untill next week...



"Eh" is a two letter word..

I don't get it. You are walking down the road, people all around are shouting: "Watch out for the snake!" You carry on walking. More shouts: "Watch out for the snake!", you hear them but because the sun is shining and its a beautiful day, you refuse to look down. After all, you are not going to let these idiots spoil your walk on this glorious day. A few steps later, sure as Bob is your Uncle and not your first cousin, you are a pair of bite marks richer. You fall down in agony, people rush to your aid and as they put you onto the stretcher and into the ambulance, the onlookers hear you whisper: "Why did nobody warn me?". That is what I do not get.

You are probably wondering what this has got to do with Saturday evening. Well, to tell you the truth, not much. It was part of the conversation we had, but as the story that was told is as old as the hills and the person involved refuses to listen to warnings about snakes, potholes or any other obstacles, we labelled it as "boring" and continued to much on our quesidillas.

It was a bit of an impromptu Fat Saturday. We met some friends in Kingston and that lead to coffee, coffee led to a play date and a play date led to them cooking us supper in our own home. I must admit, there is NOTHING better than being entertained in your own home. For the first time ever, I could sit back and relax, have a conversation and the food was placed in front of me. I did not even have to cook it, prepare it or even cut it myself. Absolute heaven! Thanks guys, it was an absolute treat. I do not know the precise recipe they used, but found this version on the Jamie website: Quesadillas with Guacamole. What wonderful guests! They bring their own food, cook their own food, serve you a meal and feed you chocolate afterwards. Not any chocolate, no, Lind Sea Salt Chocolate. Jip, Salt and chocolate, my perfect snack. I am not a fan of too sweet things, so this chocolate is just perfect! Just as the sweet gets too much, the salt kicks in. Heaven for this salt junkie!

SO back to the snake thingie. It is weird isn't it? I once heard a lecture where the guy started off by saying: "The only thing we learn from History, is that we learn nothing from History." How true. Why can't we listen to people who have had the same experiences and have seen how badly things can turn out and save ourselves the trouble? Why do we have to look the other way and think that we are so wonderful and that we are so unique that our stories are going to turn out differently? When will we realise that we are not the exception, but the rule?

I blame the media, I blame this whole positive thinking ideology that is all around us. We are being trained NOT to ask questions, NOT to doubt anything. Just believe everything you are told, because if we don't, you are being negative or you are the prophets of doom.In the olden days these guys were stoned to death, nowadays, they fire them or shun them from the church gatherings. I saw a very interesting clip on YouTube lately by journalist, author and political activist Barbara Ehrenreich. In the clip she explores the darker side of positive thinking. It is called Smile or Die. I must say, I think it is worth the watch, although it mostly talks about the economy, I think it is a general problem in society. I probably make so many people mad by being like this and frankly I do not understand why I am like this myself. It is much easier to look the other way and to pretend that everything is just fine.

We ended the evening on Saturday with a game of scrabble. A beautiful two letter word was used by Stefan to gracefully win the game: "Eh". I looked it up in the dictionary and read the following definition:

eh  (eɪ)
— interj


an exclamation used to express questioning surprise or to seek the repetition or confirmation of a statement or question: Eh? What did you say?

I will use this word liberally in my next conversation with the party referred to in above "boring" conversation. Maybe if I express my questioning surprise or seek confirmation of the statements made by said party, I will gain a little more understanding as to why the warnings against the snake in the road are so flippantly being ignored.

Until next week...

Lets leave it to the Professionals..

What an enormous FLOP! That is the only way I dare describe my pathetic attempt at making Peking Duck. It was so bad, Stefan refused to eat it and I refuse to publish any of the horrific photos. Jip, it was so horrid, it ended up very nicely in the bin. There is no one to blame but me. I was too lazy or to tired or maybe a combination of both to carefully read through the whole recipe beforehand and ended up running out of time. I did not let it stand long enough, cook long enough or did anything else the recipe told me enough to make it vaguely taste like anything yo may find in the shop windows in China town. Nope, I have decided, this mother does not have the time to reattempt this recipe, she will leave it to the professionals.

I should have known I was in trouble when I looked up how to de-feather a duck on Google. It involved paraffin and wax and something else. Not any substances this city girl just has lying around in her cupboard. This meant that I spent hours trying to get rid of the feathers on the bird..with tweezers! I think that already put me off. I am all for this farmers market thing, but next time I am going to plead with the dear man to please clean his duck properly, as I do not feel like spending another second of my life with a dead bird and a pair of tweezers.

I had to somehow salvage the evening, I mean, it was ruined. No food, unhappy husband and unhappy mommy. So all I could think of was to make something with noodles as that was kind of on the menu before and I had bought some stuff in case the duck did not work. I guess I had a feeling. Anyway, I Pad Thai-ed it. It was OK, but not at all what I felt like eating. What a miserable end to a very tiring week. This week I will NOT make the mistake again. I feel that I should take on something simpler. Something that requires WAY less time and WAY less effort. I've forgotten what sleep deprivation feels like. Ella has two teeth to show for it and us, a miserable dinner. I am trying desperately not to think of the fact that she still has a whole mouth full of teeth to go. I will make up for it this week, I promise Stefan, I promise! Otherwise, we will have to call in the professionals... of the Chinese Take Away kind!

Acceptance

I have had a hard time trying to write today's blog. There are so many things happening. There are so many thoughts racing through my head that I am struggling to quiet them all down enough to write something that is not nonsensical gibberish.

I have had to make a big decision today. I don't want to get into too much detail, but it involves acceptance. When I was 12 years old, my dad took me to school in his white Builders "bakkie" (truck) wearing the little hat he always wears. As it was raining, he lovingly drove into the school yard instead of dropping me off outside as usual. I was so embarrassed! Here I was, Term Leader of the School, getting out of a dirty "bakkie". I spent the rest of the day trying to rid myself of this social catastrophe. Later that night as I lay in bed I replayed the moment over and over in my head and I got all stressed out. It was then when I decided that this was ridiculous. I lay there and made a decision about my dad: I was not going to be embarrassed about him, his bakkie or his hat ever again. He was my dad and I loved him and as far as I could see I did not do too badly in the father-lottery, so I might as well get used to him. He wasn't going to change and thinking back now, I am glad he didn't. I made the same decision about my mother a few days later. I was finally free! Free from any embarrassment.  Free to accept them exactly as they were (and are).I did not have to spend any more energy worrying about what my father was going to wear when picking me up at the next party or what my mother was going to say in front of my friends. It was just them and I could accept them for who they were. I was truly and utterly anxiety free.

What I realised today is that I made that decision years ago about only two members of my family. For the life of me cannot explain why I did not make it for all of them. I could have spared myself a lot of pain, tears and fights if I applied this to all the relationships I have with all the members of my family. So today, I decided to accept. I will accept them for who they are, for what they are, with all their flaws, all their quirks, all their dramas. I cannot change them and I am going to stop trying. It is time to set them free.

We changed our Fat Saturday to Fat Sunday again this week. Partly because we had guests for lunch and partly because our little baby girl has been really sick. She kept us up all night Friday and by Saturday evening I was too exhausted to cook. This will also explain, but not excuse my next confession: we made the same recipe AGAIN! I did not have time to search for anything new. We were going to Weber some ducks, but the weather did not permit us, so we decided to go for a tried and tested favourite. After all, that is why we are doing this; to learn to impress guests! You can never go wrong with Jamie's paella, so I took the easy way out and prepared it again. It was, a winner, yet again.

Beautiful Paella

I did manage to make something new for dessert though. Porfiteroles with Chantilly Cream and Dark Chocolate sauce. My sister is getting married soon. When we were children this was her favourite dessert I thought of her with every bite. I hope her day is going to be as sweet as these Porfiteroles were and totally, and utterly, anxiety free.

Golden Lovelies

Filled with Cream

Drizzled in Chocolate

Yummy!

Until next week...

Boiling Bunnies and other favourites

What makes a movie great? Is it the script? The actors? The editing or is it the special effects? For me it greatly depends on the mood I am in when I am watching it or on what is going on in my life at the time. I guess the more you can relate to the characters or to the storyline, the more meaningful it is to you. In the past I have recommended movies to friends only to be laughed at for my appalling taste. Likewise, I have heard that a movie is the greatest thing since the iPad only to be so disappointed and appalled that I have had to leave the cinema. The best kind of movies are the kind that you have heard nothing about and see by chance and end up being one of your favourites*. Then there are those that you love because you were at a certain age when you saw the movie and it was in fashion to say that you saw and loved them. Movies like Reality Bites, Pump up the Volume and the famous Three Colours Trilogy. Sometimes it is better not to watch these again, as Stefan and I discovered on Friday night. It is better to hold onto the fond memories of these classics than having to strike them off your "favourite-movie-of-all-time-list". (Three Colours Blue is definitely not on my list anymore.) I have also learned to never ever take some ones recommendation for a movie they saw just after they wrote a major exam. Likewise I will also never recommend a movie again after having to work out the bending moments of a tensile structure. After an exam your brain has turned to mush and you may find yourself recommending Jim Careys' Cable Guy or comparing his Ace Ventura:Pet Detective to a masterpiece by the likes of David Lynch or Baz Lurman.

I sometimes get so sucked into movies, especially, like I said before, if I relate to the characters. I remember falling head over heals for Hugh Jackman in Paperback Hero when I had a major crush on a guy in my class. I cried so hard in Immortal Beloved after a very bad break up that I struggled to leave the cinema. I found Hurt Locker boring, just because I find the whole Iraq issue a bit dull. I loved True Romance because of Patricia Arquette sticking a bottle opener into her kidnappers foot. I saw Lady Hawk 42 times,High Lander 46 times and Pulp Fiction 26 times for various other reasons. Brave Heart wasn't for me, I just did not relate to a Scottish man in a kilt running around killing people and I have never been able to watch any Tom Cruise movie after his appalling sofa scene on the Oprah Winfrey show. Does not matter how mean he tries to be, I still see him jumping up and down on that couch, looking like a complete fool.However, never  in my wildest dreams did I think I would relate to any of the characters in Fatal Attraction! Fatal Attraction, who can forget that movie. Glen Close at her freakiest and best. Not someone I care to relate to, but when I boiled Mr. Fluffy on Saturday evening, I felt very Glen Closey. Not a good thing. It was far too  freaky and not something I would recommend for the faint hearted. Seeing the carcass of a Bunny Rabbit lying on your chopping board is just something you do not want to remember, let alone eat. I still shiver at the thought.

Bugs on the Chopping Block

Poor Bunny!

Frying Rabbit...Looks like chicken too!

And here it is...Boiling Bunnies!

Now the Spanish Rabbit Stew was not bad, it was just freaky. Tastes a bit like chicken, but then again, doesn't everything. I have heard people's telling stories from their travels all around the world, eating the most exotic things and they all describe it the same way: "Tastes a bit like chicken". The only thing that is definitely NOT anything like a chicken, was the bones. You cannot chew them like a chicken bone. They are sharp little buggers and you can do your gums some serious damage on poor Bugs' rib cage. Don't get me wrong, it was lovely tasting, wonderful sauce, awesome "wild" taste, totally organic and cholesterol free. Just a little bit too freaky for me, so I am not sure if I will be doing that again in a hurry.

Nice, but I don't know about eating it again.

I made Stefan and I a good old familiar favourite for dessert, Chocolate Mousse. At least something had to make up for the guilt I felt over the bunny slaying. Now all I have left is the guilt of eating too much mousse.

Good old Chocolate Mousse

Until next week...


*Some of my Favourites: Once, Sunshine Cleaning, The Station Agent and Napoleon Dynamite to name a few.