I have had to make a big decision today. I don't want to get into too much detail, but it involves acceptance. When I was 12 years old, my dad took me to school in his white Builders "bakkie" (truck) wearing the little hat he always wears. As it was raining, he lovingly drove into the school yard instead of dropping me off outside as usual. I was so embarrassed! Here I was, Term Leader of the School, getting out of a dirty "bakkie". I spent the rest of the day trying to rid myself of this social catastrophe. Later that night as I lay in bed I replayed the moment over and over in my head and I got all stressed out. It was then when I decided that this was ridiculous. I lay there and made a decision about my dad: I was not going to be embarrassed about him, his bakkie or his hat ever again. He was my dad and I loved him and as far as I could see I did not do too badly in the father-lottery, so I might as well get used to him. He wasn't going to change and thinking back now, I am glad he didn't. I made the same decision about my mother a few days later. I was finally free! Free from any embarrassment. Free to accept them exactly as they were (and are).I did not have to spend any more energy worrying about what my father was going to wear when picking me up at the next party or what my mother was going to say in front of my friends. It was just them and I could accept them for who they were. I was truly and utterly anxiety free.
What I realised today is that I made that decision years ago about only two members of my family. For the life of me cannot explain why I did not make it for all of them. I could have spared myself a lot of pain, tears and fights if I applied this to all the relationships I have with all the members of my family. So today, I decided to accept. I will accept them for who they are, for what they are, with all their flaws, all their quirks, all their dramas. I cannot change them and I am going to stop trying. It is time to set them free.
We changed our Fat Saturday to Fat Sunday again this week. Partly because we had guests for lunch and partly because our little baby girl has been really sick. She kept us up all night Friday and by Saturday evening I was too exhausted to cook. This will also explain, but not excuse my next confession: we made the same recipe AGAIN! I did not have time to search for anything new. We were going to Weber some ducks, but the weather did not permit us, so we decided to go for a tried and tested favourite. After all, that is why we are doing this; to learn to impress guests! You can never go wrong with Jamie's paella, so I took the easy way out and prepared it again. It was, a winner, yet again.
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| Beautiful Paella |
I did manage to make something new for dessert though. Porfiteroles with Chantilly Cream and Dark Chocolate sauce. My sister is getting married soon. When we were children this was her favourite dessert I thought of her with every bite. I hope her day is going to be as sweet as these Porfiteroles were and totally, and utterly, anxiety free.
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| Golden Lovelies |
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| Filled with Cream |
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| Drizzled in Chocolate |
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| Yummy! |
Until next week...
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