Would a Buddy Bear by Any Other Name Smell as Sweet?

I am definitely not the worlds greatest parent. I am impatient, I am often irritable and I prefer sitting behind my computer with my own thoughts than trying to recreate my daughters new version of her favourite fairy tale: Rapunzel and the seven dwarfs*. I am also not the kind of parent that enjoys standing in the park watching the children go up and down slides. I get bored of telling the same stories over and over and I prefer grown up conversations in a grown up coffee shop to trying to gulp down a bad, cold, overpriced cappuccino while trying to sing a nursery rhyme while avoiding being kicked in the shin by toddlers at the local play group.  No, I am not the worlds greatest parent, but one thing I am not, is cruel. Something I cannot say about my food hero, Mr. Oliver.

As I was casually strolling through the aisles of Waitrose today, thinking of what I should make for tonight, my eye caught his picture on the Daily Telegraph. He was beaming and proud holding a little baby. "Another one!" I thought " is that no.4?" I was overjoyed, just as much as Mr.Oliver, I am sure, to read that his wife Jules, gave birth to a baby boy. Three girls are plenty, he must be over the moon. Then why, I ask you dear reader, why, did he bestow such unbearable cruelty upon such a tiny little baby? I think there should be some kind of law against this, for surely you cannot let a child go through life with a name like Buddy Bear! Yes, Buddy Bear Oliver. I kid you not. How on earth is that poor child going to go through life bearing the name Buddy Bear? His parents have dug his social grave and he is not even two days old. Poor, poor kid. Even if he changes his name in future, 13 years from now some kid somewhere will find today's newspaper and it will be tickets for poor little Buddy. Buddy Bear, my poor little Buddy Bear, may your dad stay rich and your mom beautiful and may you grow up to be bigger and stronger than the other kids, so at least you can punch those who point at you and laugh.

Jamie and Buddy Bear: Photo by Mirror.co.uk

*Rapunzel being a rather nasty imitation of a Barbie, we bought for a few bob at a local toy store and the 7 dwarfs being her soft toys; a Lion, a Zebra, a Cheetah, an overdressed bear, an Easter bunny, Upsie daisy doll and frog finger puppet.