Cupcakes for a Crisis

I love baking, but having a husband with diabetes, does put a big spanner in my egg beater. This sucks. Lots of things seem to suck these days. I think they call it midlife crisis. Friends are getting divorced, some are talking about divorce, some are thinking about changing jobs or moving to new countries. Yes, I think we can safely say that we, the children of the 80's, have finally arrived at midlife-crisis-ville and it's not such a great place to be. I am desperately trying to be a cup half full person through this stage, but it is hard. I cannot help wondering if the first half of my cup was not just spilt out on the ground by some irresponsible teenager that used to look a lot like me. Of course with less wrinkles and a much smaller waistline.

Now, during this stage in our lives, we must realise that there are two aspects our dilemma. The one is ACCEPTANCE and the other is CHANGE. It reminds me of the prayer we learnt at school by Francis of Assisi: " Lord help me accept the thing I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference". There are some things we must learn to accept. Things like the fact that at the tender age of 38 I am never going to become a supermodel. I am too short, too fat and much to my horror, too old. But that is an easy one to accept. Some things are much harder. Like some people that may have to accept that they may never have children or may never get married. Those are the hard ones. When you are 20-something, all these things are possible, but as you slowly approach forty, the light at the end of that tunnel starts to dwindle. But as they say, never say never! God has been known to do some pretty amazing and crazy things, like having-babies at 90-kinda-things. There is always hope, but I guess the trick is for it to remain a hope and not an obsession. I found Psalm 37 a good inspiration for this. To carry on peacefully with your life and to let God handle all the desires of your heart. Good advice.

Acceptance does give you a kind of peace about yourself. Looking in the mirror and actually not gagging every time you see your reflection, is rather pleasant. You learn to like who you are, for all the things you have and have not done so far. I, for example, will never design a skyscraper, but I bake a very good cup cake. That is something I am proud of. My paintings may not be up to the world's standards, but my kids love my fairies. I love that.

Now comes the CHANGE part. I know most people try to fight the "ACCEPTANCE" part of life by using the "I need a CHANGE" -machine gun. This is a very stupid thing to do, in my opinion. Some things are good to change, but others are just plain stupid. You end up exchanging things for something that may look new and shiny, but underneath all the wrapping, is pretty much just like the one you had. All wives moan and eventually want you to come home after work and not hang around at the pub. All cars break and need a new set of tyres at some point. a Harley Davidson is going to lead to your early demise and taking up skydiving without having a firm life insurance policy in place, is just plain stupid. And what is the deal with plastic surgery? All you are going to end up with with an expression that reminds people of the little girl who's mommy tied her plaits too tight or look like a you were stung by a ginormous bee on your lower lip. Yes, we can all do all these silly things, but very few of them lead are really life-changing (unless you of course die or end up in a wheel chair or with some toxic shock reaction to all the collagen you have pumped into your face). Mostly you will end up with a new baby in your 50's and  a load of unpaid traffic fines, as all cars, even red sports ones, still have to be driven at 70 miles per hour.

So what do we change besides our wives, cars? Please don't for one moment think I have the answer to this question, I am merely, like you, trying to figure this out. I could change my career, my hair etc. etc. The list is endless, but I think I am looking in the wrong place. I think I am  spending too much time concentrating on my changing my life here on earth  and too little time on the one that comes after. I think it is time I started concentrating on my heavenly one. Investing more time into that, after all, If God is willing, I will have another 20-30 years left of this one, the one after is said to last for eternity. That is a lot longer than 20 years!! I think it is time I make that change.

So here is to new years resolutions and change that could have an eternal affect. Changes that will neither allow my cup to be half empty or half full, but to runneth over. For Joy has one source and all the earthly changes I can make will never ever give me what I am longing for. I will listen to the wise words of the Big Book and carry this in my heart: “Go your way. Eat the fat and drink sweet wine and send portions to anyone who has nothing ready, for this day is holy to our Lord. And do not be grieved, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.” Neh 8:10 Who knows, maybe I will send some cupcakes around to those who have none, after all my daughter did say they tasted like heaven.

I miss Madeleine

I have a friend called Madeleine. She is tall, has long black hair and wears contact lenses. She dresses in colourful clothes and sings while she plays the piano. She loves music and reading, hates racists and bigots and once you've tasted her cooking, you'd never want to eat any one elses. She is funny, she is bright and she is the most laid back person you'd ever meet. But what I love most about her, is that she will always take my side. I can tell her anything. She is always there for me, although she lives a gezillion miles away, I miss her terribly.

White or Cream?

White or Cream

We are not rich. We are not poor either, but lets say we are on the wrong side of well off.  It is a horrible place to be. I don’t like it one bit. It is the place where the sin "Coveting" hides and plays tricks with your mind. You are not poor enough to know that you may never have something, but you are not rich enough to actually have the thing that you really want. You have to be satisfied with the cheaper version of it, just to be disappointed with your actual purchase in the end and finding yourself right where you started in the first place, wishing you had the thing that you just couldn’t afford. It is stupid. This whole damn world is upside down. Every moment of every day things get shoved in front of you that you should have or could have or may one day want to have. It is a horrible place. Take kitchen barstools for instance.

Now I have never given said item a day of thought in my life. I’ve never had the need to. I don’t own a house, never have and the house we are renting has a kitchen that is so small there is no space for barstools. So how on earth did I get trapped into spending half an hour of my life debating barstools? The big question on the table was: “white or cream”? MMmm..I can see how that could be a dilemma..NOT! Well, I suppose if that if it warrants half an hour of a ladies tea morning, I may actually have to investigate the subject. Seriously, some people have war in their countries, the Euro is going to the dogs, the Queen has been on the throne for 60 years, but barstools, now that is a debate worthy item.

So, ladies, what are your thoughts? Seriously white or cream? I personally had no thoughts on this subject this morning besides the small, dull snoring sound my brain was making halfway through the conversation, that I thought it to be best to excuse myself from the conversation incase the sound became audible. Looks like furniture and paint colours are the "new hair and nails topic"for the well off. And, like I said, I am not well off, so, the subject is of absolutely no interest to me. Which poses the question..will it become of any interest if I were to become rich? Please no, spare myself from my super rich future self. I could not bare to be bored with my own conversations.

I guess by this time you have realised I am pretty... well, lets put it gently, annoyed. House after house, renovation after renovation has been paraded infront of me. Paint colours have been discussed, door handles have been compared and curtain samples have been strewn around on many a coffee morning. And patiently, I have had to grin and bare it. Nope, I have never ever had the opportunity to choose a paint colour for my living room. I have never even thought about getting curtains made. I bought my dining room chairs off ebay, not because they were vintage, no, because they were cheap. NO! NO! NO! But, I have had to listen to all these bloody woman going on and on and on about their bloody houses and I am fed up. There, I've said it. I do not care what you are doing with your house. Paint it any bloody colour. Buy both cream and white barstools if you cant make a decision, just DONT TELL ME ABOUT IT..cause I DON'T CARE!!

The world is a mad, mad place...

I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I am an alien walking on this planet. If I think something is red, every one else seems to be of the opinion that it is indeed blue. I, however, can never seem to see the blue, just the loud red colour burning my eyes. This burning sensation also never allows me to lie and say that I see blue, nope, the red burns so much that I need to look away.

Amy Winehouse, R.I.P? Seriously? ‎86 people murdered by some right wing lunatic in Norway and I only noticed one status update on facebook about them, but a convicted criminal dies as a result of a probable self inflicted drug overdose and the world goes into a a crying frenzy. Something is seriously wrong.

Ok, who am I to judge? Maybe she did find some rest at the end of it all. That is what makes God's grace so amazing to me. I hope she did, really I do. But man, 86 very young, presumably none drug using people were gunned down like animals and they only get ONE status update out of my 194 facebook friends. That, for me, is a real tragedy.

May God be with all those childless mothers tonight, including Amys' mom. It is for her  and all the others that my heart bleeds. There must be nothing worse in the world than losing a child.
May God comfort you all.

A month of lean Saturdays

I haven't written for ages. Ella has been teething and basically I am suffering from a serious lack of sleep and "me" time. I am not always convinced about this motherhood thing. Nobody warns you that it is going to be so hard at times. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids, but sometimes I just need a break.

Anyway, I haven't cooked for ages. I miss getting my hands dirty. The only thing I have managed to conjure up of late, is banana bread, just because it HAD to be done. The bunch of overripe bananas in the fruit bowl was seriously on their way to the bin. I am sure they prefer being in the bread.

This Friday I have been invited for Shabbat. I am looking forward to it as my host is an excellent cook. I will at least, for a very long while, have something to blog about. I must again apologise for my lack of communication. One year olds are not for the faint hearted. At least Friday will be only grown ups. I am really looking forward to it.

Until then...

Sticking my neck out...

I know I am probably going to crucified for this blog, so promise me, before you read the next paragraph, you will continue to read the rest of my explanation as well. Maybe then you will not be so angry with me. Never the less, here I go, sticking my neck out...

I will not describe myself as an animal lover. Now calm down; I LIKE animals, but honestly, I don't love them enough to own one or work with them. I think puppies are cute, kittens are adorable and bunnies are soft and cuddly, but I am not one of those people who long for a dog or any kind of pet for that matter. Some people. like friends of ours, confessed to us that they are not children lovers. They prefer their pets. They still however, like our kids and bring them the nice presents when they visit. They just don't want their own and I can totally respect their view. I, likewise, just don't want a dog, or a cat, or a hamster or anything also requires me to look after it. I have my hands full with my two girls; BUT I do still like stroking my friends dog and cried my eyes out when our family pup died.  I will also make a massive scene if I see someone abusing an animal and completely feel sick when I see what some people do to dolphins etc. BUT, if I have to choose between saving a dog or a child, the child will always win. To me this is a logical decision, but as I have harshly come to grips with this last month, it is not the same for everyone.

The first incident was one that happened in my neighbourhood. My daughter was run off her scooter by a dog. It all happened so quickly and Mia got the fright of her life and so did I. The little dog shot from out of nowhere and ran straight into her. She, of course, screamed like there was no tomorrow and it took me a while to calm her down. The lady who's dog it was came marching across the street and as I started apologising for Mia's reaction, she let loose. She told me that my child was, and I quote: "Demented" and that if she screams like that any dog will bite her. I must admit, I was gobsmacked. Her dog ran into my daughter. Her dog was NOT on a lead and according to me it was a normal reaction for a little girl to get the fright of her life. Well, according to her, I was wrong. A friend was with us, gave the lady a dirty stare, but said nothing. I was so shocked, I did not know what to say. She thought her dog was more important than the my daughter. To me, this is absolutely shocking.

The next incident was a little more shocking than this one. My brother, is currently in Korea. He was rather shocked, just as we all were, by the recent events in Japan. On his Facebook update, he said : "Praying for Japan...." That was all. Well, the amount of abuse this led to, left me absolutely gobsmacked. Some woman, basically said that the Japanese deserved what happened to them and that Louis should rather pray for the dolphins and turtles and whales they have killed. Ok, fair enough, like I said, we all know that us Westerners get rather irate about the Easts way of dealing with animals, but what I do NOT condone, is the amount of abuse that this woman through at my brother. I could not believe what I was reading. She attacked every morsel of his character and even my family. It was such an outrage that I had to report her to Facebook for abuse. If anyone of you would like to join me in doing so, please "Facebook" me and ask for her details. My poor brother, he IS actually an animal lover. His little dog Rufus was his shadow and he loved his goldfish so much when he was a boy that we had to stop him from taking it out of its bowl to play with it. I find an any attacks on a any beings, be they human or other wise, cruel and hateful. But I bet you she would not speak to her dog like that. What a very disturbed young woman.

Anyway, what I guess I am trying to say, is that we have to keep in perspective. My husband's aunt once said to me that nobody should feel too "Te" about anything. Translated it means that no one should be "Too" much into anything. This causes you to loose perspective. In both cases the women above felt they had the right to abuse other beings, this time human. We do not deserve abuse either. I do not think that either of them have lost any sleep about any of this and I know, almost for a fact, that none of them would speak to any animal like this. How shocking and very, very disturbing.

Well, enough about this abuse. It was not a pleasant experience, so of course, in my life, I have to fix unpleasant experiences with pleasant tasting treats. I must confess, I have been very good with the Weight Watchers thing, but every now and then a girl has to let her hair down (or in my case, put away her iPhone with the Weight Watchers App)!

I've always wanted to try home made pizza. Now again, I know many of you have probably done this millions of times before, but I have never made it from scratch. I always buy the bases and then end up with something that is ok tasting, but still leaves me longing to lift up the phone and dial Pizza Hut. Not this time. This was FAR better than any pizza that I have ever tasted. Making the dough yourself is a hassle, but worth every calorie. Give it a try, it is the one from the trusted old Jamie website again: Pizza Dough, you will never look back. Ours did not look very good, but I can assure you, they tasted like little misshaped pieces of heaven. I did go overboard though, trying to fit every topping I could think of one one base.

Not the prettiest, but definitely the yummiest!

The next day I did manage to sneak a peak at the Weight Watchers points value and thought it best not to comment on that. Lets just say, the calories were enough to keep a small African village alive for a week! So new rule: Never, ever, ever, ever count Fat Saturday on Weight Watchers! Remember Mondays are for dieting.

Until next month...

The thing with facebook...

My husband hates Facebook. He has many reasons to justify his hatred, but being as nosy as I am, have always ignored them. However lately I must admit, I am starting to understand the aversion he has to this social network. It has taken a while, but I finally think I am getting there.

In the beginning, I enjoyed it. I loved connecting with people I haven't seen since school, seeing what they were up to, what they became etc. I loved looking at pictures of their kids and their trips and their jobs. But lets face it,  it is very seldom you leave a surfing session on the "book" feeling good about yourself and your life. All the couples in the photos are always looking happy and smiling. All the kids look gorgeous and well behaved. The moms well rested and the dads proud of their little crew. Look at my photos for instance, I only publish those in which I look thin and happy and not dead tired. We are our own little PR crews and it's all wonderful, but the fact of the matter is, these photos do not always portray our real lives. Some of these happy couples are going through messy divorces, some of these kids are in actual need of a bloody good telling off and most of some of the mothers (like me) are so tired they are struggling to keep their eyes open to type blogs! I guess none of us are going to publish  the real photos of our lives. The ones where we look tired, the ones where we loose our tempers or the one where we cry because we found out that a loved one is leaving or that some one is sick. No, we are all loyal to ourselves and our families. We want to look good to the world. Happily married, smiley people, ready to take on anything. Personally, I find all this rose coloured editing a bit annoying, but this is not what really gets my goat. No, what gets me is that I constantly forget about these pictures are not always real. I fall for the "happy facebook life" time and time again. I mean, this social network gives people the opportunity to shove their possessions, their travels, their achievements etc. in everybody faces at every given opportunity. "Look at my new car!", "Look at the view from our new house!", "Look at this, look at that", it just doesn't stop. I must confess, I have had to hide some of my facebook friends, or let's us just call them what they are; acquaintances, purely because I can completely jealous of them. I've HAD to hide them, purely for the goodness of my soul. "Thou shalt not covet..." and covet I do, especially if I look at people's houses. It's weird, the photos that gets the green monster drooling over your shoulder, are always of the things that you most want in your life, be it a house, in my case, or a baby, in my friend's case, or a nice car or whatever.I am sure it happens to everyone, right? Facebook is a constant reminder of what we don't have, but really want. I tell you, this is simply not good for you. Now I get my husband's point.

A while ago I read a blog about the 9 most annoying people on facebook. Click on the link, it is a pretty funny read, but I have my own list. Besides the braggers, there are a small list of people that make me want to gag. I won't bore you with all of them this week, but here is my top 5 most annoying people on facebook for the week:

1. The South African Jesus Jumping Models (and Celebrities):
What is it with SA models or celebs that feel that they have to blurt out their religious views at any given moment?  I mean, I am all for confessing your faith, but wouldn't it be more affective if you actually live out your faith, rather than "status update" it. I mean, it is "Shout if you love Jesus" here and "All Christians of facebook stand up and be counted" groups there, not to mention that they are all members of the Angus Buchan fan page. But then, if you happen to flick through their photographs, which they publicly display because they think they are marketing themselves (I call it vanity), they publish half naked picture of themselves in bikinis draped over half naked men or woman! What is that all about? Good grief. The Sex Kitten Jesus Worshipper just does not work for me.Is this weird or is it just me that sees this as rather blasphemous?

If you don't believe me, check out Melany Lindeque's page. I once heard a sermon from a preacher called Paul Washer where he talked about inappropriate dress for a Christian. He said that if the clothes you are wearing draws attention away from your face, it is the wrong kind of attire. Ok, he is a very conservative Southern Baptist, but I think we get the picture when we look at Melany's display of photos. The lack of clothes really does draws attention to everything BUT her face.

2. Public Prayers:
These people go hand in hand with the crowd mentioned above. I am sorry, I cannot stand this. Don't status update your prayer life. What is that all about? Jesus is not one of your Facebook friends! In Matthew 6:5 it clearly says:  “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.  But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."

I think praying on your status updates, is the modern day version of praying on street corners. Rather let your life reflect what you believe, you do no need to status update it.

3. The Overly Politically Correct Passive Aggressive Crowd
They can be male or female, both are just as annoying. They are the ones who are supposed voice of the people. They embrace all humanist thoughts, all religions and all ideologies as long as it does not conflict with their thoughts, religious ideas or ideologies. On one hand, they support the icons of our country with soppy poems and quotations, on the other, when it bothers them, they slate the masses when they interfere too much in their little perfect lives (take the huge debate the Vuvuzelas sparked off on the "book" for example).
They are individuals, free to status update what they want, just please, whatever you do, do not take them on about their silly remarks, then it is status update war.  They will try prove to you that your narrow-mindedness is the cause of all the unhappiness in the world today and can never drop something. They always have to get in the last word. They are brave enough to attack you in on the net, but meet them round the pub and it is all hugs and kisses. Hypocrites.

4. The Where-I-live-is-the-Best-Crowd:
These people can be anywhere in the world, expats or not. They constantly tell you that where they live is better than where you are living. For example: Glad I am in Australia because the weather in the UK sucks! Cape Town is the best, London is the best..blah die blah die blah.

Yes, we ALL know the the weather in the UK sucks. I am very aware that SA, Australia, New Zealand or any other place on the is earth for that matter, has greater weather than the UK. At times I am sorry that I don't live there at too, but I have to make do with what I have. I have to deal with the UK, so while I am here, please, give us a break. We have to keep a positive mindset over here, otherwise this gloom will drive us mad!

All places have their pro's and cons. We are very aware of our cons, but believe it or not, we also have our Pros. It is NOT the best place on earth to live, I miss home every day, but I do like the fact that I can go jogging at night all by myself, without a care in the world.

5. The-My-Maid (driver/nanny/housekeeper)-Is-Off-SickToday-How-Will-I-Cope-Mothers
Now if this is you, I am just plainly and simply going to hide you. I would give anything to have some help in the house, so purely out of jealousy, you annoy me.
Anyway, I will stop all this bitterness immediately. I could get into ALOT more detail, but I am probably just going to upset myself and a few of you. I am sure at the end of the week there will be loads more of these annoyances that rear their ugly heads, but for now I think I am going to avoid Facebook for a while.

O yes, I almost forgot. We did finally have our Fat Saturday again this past week. Ella is better at last and I have caught up on some well deserved sleep, so I actually had the energy to cook. Hopefully you don't see this as bragging, just as an encouragement to get all of you out there to try new things. I tried Prawn curry for the first time ever and something Jamie calls "coated ice cream". Follow the links below for the recipes. It was great.

Prawn Curry:
Follow the link for the recipe
http://www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/seafood-recipes/thai-red-prawn-curry-jasmine-rice-cucumb

Coated Ice Cream:
http://www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/vegetarian-recipes/spinach-aamp-feta-filo-pie-cucumber-sala

I've decided to only do one Fat Saturday a month from now on. There is just not enough time at the moment with two girls etc etc. I am sure my waist line will rejoice! . I will still blog whenever Mia lets me near the computer but for now..
Untill next month