Cupcakes for a Crisis

I love baking, but having a husband with diabetes, does put a big spanner in my egg beater. This sucks. Lots of things seem to suck these days. I think they call it midlife crisis. Friends are getting divorced, some are talking about divorce, some are thinking about changing jobs or moving to new countries. Yes, I think we can safely say that we, the children of the 80's, have finally arrived at midlife-crisis-ville and it's not such a great place to be. I am desperately trying to be a cup half full person through this stage, but it is hard. I cannot help wondering if the first half of my cup was not just spilt out on the ground by some irresponsible teenager that used to look a lot like me. Of course with less wrinkles and a much smaller waistline.

Now, during this stage in our lives, we must realise that there are two aspects our dilemma. The one is ACCEPTANCE and the other is CHANGE. It reminds me of the prayer we learnt at school by Francis of Assisi: " Lord help me accept the thing I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference". There are some things we must learn to accept. Things like the fact that at the tender age of 38 I am never going to become a supermodel. I am too short, too fat and much to my horror, too old. But that is an easy one to accept. Some things are much harder. Like some people that may have to accept that they may never have children or may never get married. Those are the hard ones. When you are 20-something, all these things are possible, but as you slowly approach forty, the light at the end of that tunnel starts to dwindle. But as they say, never say never! God has been known to do some pretty amazing and crazy things, like having-babies at 90-kinda-things. There is always hope, but I guess the trick is for it to remain a hope and not an obsession. I found Psalm 37 a good inspiration for this. To carry on peacefully with your life and to let God handle all the desires of your heart. Good advice.

Acceptance does give you a kind of peace about yourself. Looking in the mirror and actually not gagging every time you see your reflection, is rather pleasant. You learn to like who you are, for all the things you have and have not done so far. I, for example, will never design a skyscraper, but I bake a very good cup cake. That is something I am proud of. My paintings may not be up to the world's standards, but my kids love my fairies. I love that.

Now comes the CHANGE part. I know most people try to fight the "ACCEPTANCE" part of life by using the "I need a CHANGE" -machine gun. This is a very stupid thing to do, in my opinion. Some things are good to change, but others are just plain stupid. You end up exchanging things for something that may look new and shiny, but underneath all the wrapping, is pretty much just like the one you had. All wives moan and eventually want you to come home after work and not hang around at the pub. All cars break and need a new set of tyres at some point. a Harley Davidson is going to lead to your early demise and taking up skydiving without having a firm life insurance policy in place, is just plain stupid. And what is the deal with plastic surgery? All you are going to end up with with an expression that reminds people of the little girl who's mommy tied her plaits too tight or look like a you were stung by a ginormous bee on your lower lip. Yes, we can all do all these silly things, but very few of them lead are really life-changing (unless you of course die or end up in a wheel chair or with some toxic shock reaction to all the collagen you have pumped into your face). Mostly you will end up with a new baby in your 50's and  a load of unpaid traffic fines, as all cars, even red sports ones, still have to be driven at 70 miles per hour.

So what do we change besides our wives, cars? Please don't for one moment think I have the answer to this question, I am merely, like you, trying to figure this out. I could change my career, my hair etc. etc. The list is endless, but I think I am looking in the wrong place. I think I am  spending too much time concentrating on my changing my life here on earth  and too little time on the one that comes after. I think it is time I started concentrating on my heavenly one. Investing more time into that, after all, If God is willing, I will have another 20-30 years left of this one, the one after is said to last for eternity. That is a lot longer than 20 years!! I think it is time I make that change.

So here is to new years resolutions and change that could have an eternal affect. Changes that will neither allow my cup to be half empty or half full, but to runneth over. For Joy has one source and all the earthly changes I can make will never ever give me what I am longing for. I will listen to the wise words of the Big Book and carry this in my heart: “Go your way. Eat the fat and drink sweet wine and send portions to anyone who has nothing ready, for this day is holy to our Lord. And do not be grieved, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.” Neh 8:10 Who knows, maybe I will send some cupcakes around to those who have none, after all my daughter did say they tasted like heaven.

I miss Madeleine

I have a friend called Madeleine. She is tall, has long black hair and wears contact lenses. She dresses in colourful clothes and sings while she plays the piano. She loves music and reading, hates racists and bigots and once you've tasted her cooking, you'd never want to eat any one elses. She is funny, she is bright and she is the most laid back person you'd ever meet. But what I love most about her, is that she will always take my side. I can tell her anything. She is always there for me, although she lives a gezillion miles away, I miss her terribly.

White or Cream?

White or Cream

We are not rich. We are not poor either, but lets say we are on the wrong side of well off.  It is a horrible place to be. I don’t like it one bit. It is the place where the sin "Coveting" hides and plays tricks with your mind. You are not poor enough to know that you may never have something, but you are not rich enough to actually have the thing that you really want. You have to be satisfied with the cheaper version of it, just to be disappointed with your actual purchase in the end and finding yourself right where you started in the first place, wishing you had the thing that you just couldn’t afford. It is stupid. This whole damn world is upside down. Every moment of every day things get shoved in front of you that you should have or could have or may one day want to have. It is a horrible place. Take kitchen barstools for instance.

Now I have never given said item a day of thought in my life. I’ve never had the need to. I don’t own a house, never have and the house we are renting has a kitchen that is so small there is no space for barstools. So how on earth did I get trapped into spending half an hour of my life debating barstools? The big question on the table was: “white or cream”? MMmm..I can see how that could be a dilemma..NOT! Well, I suppose if that if it warrants half an hour of a ladies tea morning, I may actually have to investigate the subject. Seriously, some people have war in their countries, the Euro is going to the dogs, the Queen has been on the throne for 60 years, but barstools, now that is a debate worthy item.

So, ladies, what are your thoughts? Seriously white or cream? I personally had no thoughts on this subject this morning besides the small, dull snoring sound my brain was making halfway through the conversation, that I thought it to be best to excuse myself from the conversation incase the sound became audible. Looks like furniture and paint colours are the "new hair and nails topic"for the well off. And, like I said, I am not well off, so, the subject is of absolutely no interest to me. Which poses the question..will it become of any interest if I were to become rich? Please no, spare myself from my super rich future self. I could not bare to be bored with my own conversations.

I guess by this time you have realised I am pretty... well, lets put it gently, annoyed. House after house, renovation after renovation has been paraded infront of me. Paint colours have been discussed, door handles have been compared and curtain samples have been strewn around on many a coffee morning. And patiently, I have had to grin and bare it. Nope, I have never ever had the opportunity to choose a paint colour for my living room. I have never even thought about getting curtains made. I bought my dining room chairs off ebay, not because they were vintage, no, because they were cheap. NO! NO! NO! But, I have had to listen to all these bloody woman going on and on and on about their bloody houses and I am fed up. There, I've said it. I do not care what you are doing with your house. Paint it any bloody colour. Buy both cream and white barstools if you cant make a decision, just DONT TELL ME ABOUT IT..cause I DON'T CARE!!

The world is a mad, mad place...

I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I am an alien walking on this planet. If I think something is red, every one else seems to be of the opinion that it is indeed blue. I, however, can never seem to see the blue, just the loud red colour burning my eyes. This burning sensation also never allows me to lie and say that I see blue, nope, the red burns so much that I need to look away.

Amy Winehouse, R.I.P? Seriously? ‎86 people murdered by some right wing lunatic in Norway and I only noticed one status update on facebook about them, but a convicted criminal dies as a result of a probable self inflicted drug overdose and the world goes into a a crying frenzy. Something is seriously wrong.

Ok, who am I to judge? Maybe she did find some rest at the end of it all. That is what makes God's grace so amazing to me. I hope she did, really I do. But man, 86 very young, presumably none drug using people were gunned down like animals and they only get ONE status update out of my 194 facebook friends. That, for me, is a real tragedy.

May God be with all those childless mothers tonight, including Amys' mom. It is for her  and all the others that my heart bleeds. There must be nothing worse in the world than losing a child.
May God comfort you all.

A month of lean Saturdays

I haven't written for ages. Ella has been teething and basically I am suffering from a serious lack of sleep and "me" time. I am not always convinced about this motherhood thing. Nobody warns you that it is going to be so hard at times. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids, but sometimes I just need a break.

Anyway, I haven't cooked for ages. I miss getting my hands dirty. The only thing I have managed to conjure up of late, is banana bread, just because it HAD to be done. The bunch of overripe bananas in the fruit bowl was seriously on their way to the bin. I am sure they prefer being in the bread.

This Friday I have been invited for Shabbat. I am looking forward to it as my host is an excellent cook. I will at least, for a very long while, have something to blog about. I must again apologise for my lack of communication. One year olds are not for the faint hearted. At least Friday will be only grown ups. I am really looking forward to it.

Until then...

Sticking my neck out...

I know I am probably going to crucified for this blog, so promise me, before you read the next paragraph, you will continue to read the rest of my explanation as well. Maybe then you will not be so angry with me. Never the less, here I go, sticking my neck out...

I will not describe myself as an animal lover. Now calm down; I LIKE animals, but honestly, I don't love them enough to own one or work with them. I think puppies are cute, kittens are adorable and bunnies are soft and cuddly, but I am not one of those people who long for a dog or any kind of pet for that matter. Some people. like friends of ours, confessed to us that they are not children lovers. They prefer their pets. They still however, like our kids and bring them the nice presents when they visit. They just don't want their own and I can totally respect their view. I, likewise, just don't want a dog, or a cat, or a hamster or anything also requires me to look after it. I have my hands full with my two girls; BUT I do still like stroking my friends dog and cried my eyes out when our family pup died.  I will also make a massive scene if I see someone abusing an animal and completely feel sick when I see what some people do to dolphins etc. BUT, if I have to choose between saving a dog or a child, the child will always win. To me this is a logical decision, but as I have harshly come to grips with this last month, it is not the same for everyone.

The first incident was one that happened in my neighbourhood. My daughter was run off her scooter by a dog. It all happened so quickly and Mia got the fright of her life and so did I. The little dog shot from out of nowhere and ran straight into her. She, of course, screamed like there was no tomorrow and it took me a while to calm her down. The lady who's dog it was came marching across the street and as I started apologising for Mia's reaction, she let loose. She told me that my child was, and I quote: "Demented" and that if she screams like that any dog will bite her. I must admit, I was gobsmacked. Her dog ran into my daughter. Her dog was NOT on a lead and according to me it was a normal reaction for a little girl to get the fright of her life. Well, according to her, I was wrong. A friend was with us, gave the lady a dirty stare, but said nothing. I was so shocked, I did not know what to say. She thought her dog was more important than the my daughter. To me, this is absolutely shocking.

The next incident was a little more shocking than this one. My brother, is currently in Korea. He was rather shocked, just as we all were, by the recent events in Japan. On his Facebook update, he said : "Praying for Japan...." That was all. Well, the amount of abuse this led to, left me absolutely gobsmacked. Some woman, basically said that the Japanese deserved what happened to them and that Louis should rather pray for the dolphins and turtles and whales they have killed. Ok, fair enough, like I said, we all know that us Westerners get rather irate about the Easts way of dealing with animals, but what I do NOT condone, is the amount of abuse that this woman through at my brother. I could not believe what I was reading. She attacked every morsel of his character and even my family. It was such an outrage that I had to report her to Facebook for abuse. If anyone of you would like to join me in doing so, please "Facebook" me and ask for her details. My poor brother, he IS actually an animal lover. His little dog Rufus was his shadow and he loved his goldfish so much when he was a boy that we had to stop him from taking it out of its bowl to play with it. I find an any attacks on a any beings, be they human or other wise, cruel and hateful. But I bet you she would not speak to her dog like that. What a very disturbed young woman.

Anyway, what I guess I am trying to say, is that we have to keep in perspective. My husband's aunt once said to me that nobody should feel too "Te" about anything. Translated it means that no one should be "Too" much into anything. This causes you to loose perspective. In both cases the women above felt they had the right to abuse other beings, this time human. We do not deserve abuse either. I do not think that either of them have lost any sleep about any of this and I know, almost for a fact, that none of them would speak to any animal like this. How shocking and very, very disturbing.

Well, enough about this abuse. It was not a pleasant experience, so of course, in my life, I have to fix unpleasant experiences with pleasant tasting treats. I must confess, I have been very good with the Weight Watchers thing, but every now and then a girl has to let her hair down (or in my case, put away her iPhone with the Weight Watchers App)!

I've always wanted to try home made pizza. Now again, I know many of you have probably done this millions of times before, but I have never made it from scratch. I always buy the bases and then end up with something that is ok tasting, but still leaves me longing to lift up the phone and dial Pizza Hut. Not this time. This was FAR better than any pizza that I have ever tasted. Making the dough yourself is a hassle, but worth every calorie. Give it a try, it is the one from the trusted old Jamie website again: Pizza Dough, you will never look back. Ours did not look very good, but I can assure you, they tasted like little misshaped pieces of heaven. I did go overboard though, trying to fit every topping I could think of one one base.

Not the prettiest, but definitely the yummiest!

The next day I did manage to sneak a peak at the Weight Watchers points value and thought it best not to comment on that. Lets just say, the calories were enough to keep a small African village alive for a week! So new rule: Never, ever, ever, ever count Fat Saturday on Weight Watchers! Remember Mondays are for dieting.

Until next month...

The thing with facebook...

My husband hates Facebook. He has many reasons to justify his hatred, but being as nosy as I am, have always ignored them. However lately I must admit, I am starting to understand the aversion he has to this social network. It has taken a while, but I finally think I am getting there.

In the beginning, I enjoyed it. I loved connecting with people I haven't seen since school, seeing what they were up to, what they became etc. I loved looking at pictures of their kids and their trips and their jobs. But lets face it,  it is very seldom you leave a surfing session on the "book" feeling good about yourself and your life. All the couples in the photos are always looking happy and smiling. All the kids look gorgeous and well behaved. The moms well rested and the dads proud of their little crew. Look at my photos for instance, I only publish those in which I look thin and happy and not dead tired. We are our own little PR crews and it's all wonderful, but the fact of the matter is, these photos do not always portray our real lives. Some of these happy couples are going through messy divorces, some of these kids are in actual need of a bloody good telling off and most of some of the mothers (like me) are so tired they are struggling to keep their eyes open to type blogs! I guess none of us are going to publish  the real photos of our lives. The ones where we look tired, the ones where we loose our tempers or the one where we cry because we found out that a loved one is leaving or that some one is sick. No, we are all loyal to ourselves and our families. We want to look good to the world. Happily married, smiley people, ready to take on anything. Personally, I find all this rose coloured editing a bit annoying, but this is not what really gets my goat. No, what gets me is that I constantly forget about these pictures are not always real. I fall for the "happy facebook life" time and time again. I mean, this social network gives people the opportunity to shove their possessions, their travels, their achievements etc. in everybody faces at every given opportunity. "Look at my new car!", "Look at the view from our new house!", "Look at this, look at that", it just doesn't stop. I must confess, I have had to hide some of my facebook friends, or let's us just call them what they are; acquaintances, purely because I can completely jealous of them. I've HAD to hide them, purely for the goodness of my soul. "Thou shalt not covet..." and covet I do, especially if I look at people's houses. It's weird, the photos that gets the green monster drooling over your shoulder, are always of the things that you most want in your life, be it a house, in my case, or a baby, in my friend's case, or a nice car or whatever.I am sure it happens to everyone, right? Facebook is a constant reminder of what we don't have, but really want. I tell you, this is simply not good for you. Now I get my husband's point.

A while ago I read a blog about the 9 most annoying people on facebook. Click on the link, it is a pretty funny read, but I have my own list. Besides the braggers, there are a small list of people that make me want to gag. I won't bore you with all of them this week, but here is my top 5 most annoying people on facebook for the week:

1. The South African Jesus Jumping Models (and Celebrities):
What is it with SA models or celebs that feel that they have to blurt out their religious views at any given moment?  I mean, I am all for confessing your faith, but wouldn't it be more affective if you actually live out your faith, rather than "status update" it. I mean, it is "Shout if you love Jesus" here and "All Christians of facebook stand up and be counted" groups there, not to mention that they are all members of the Angus Buchan fan page. But then, if you happen to flick through their photographs, which they publicly display because they think they are marketing themselves (I call it vanity), they publish half naked picture of themselves in bikinis draped over half naked men or woman! What is that all about? Good grief. The Sex Kitten Jesus Worshipper just does not work for me.Is this weird or is it just me that sees this as rather blasphemous?

If you don't believe me, check out Melany Lindeque's page. I once heard a sermon from a preacher called Paul Washer where he talked about inappropriate dress for a Christian. He said that if the clothes you are wearing draws attention away from your face, it is the wrong kind of attire. Ok, he is a very conservative Southern Baptist, but I think we get the picture when we look at Melany's display of photos. The lack of clothes really does draws attention to everything BUT her face.

2. Public Prayers:
These people go hand in hand with the crowd mentioned above. I am sorry, I cannot stand this. Don't status update your prayer life. What is that all about? Jesus is not one of your Facebook friends! In Matthew 6:5 it clearly says:  “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.  But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."

I think praying on your status updates, is the modern day version of praying on street corners. Rather let your life reflect what you believe, you do no need to status update it.

3. The Overly Politically Correct Passive Aggressive Crowd
They can be male or female, both are just as annoying. They are the ones who are supposed voice of the people. They embrace all humanist thoughts, all religions and all ideologies as long as it does not conflict with their thoughts, religious ideas or ideologies. On one hand, they support the icons of our country with soppy poems and quotations, on the other, when it bothers them, they slate the masses when they interfere too much in their little perfect lives (take the huge debate the Vuvuzelas sparked off on the "book" for example).
They are individuals, free to status update what they want, just please, whatever you do, do not take them on about their silly remarks, then it is status update war.  They will try prove to you that your narrow-mindedness is the cause of all the unhappiness in the world today and can never drop something. They always have to get in the last word. They are brave enough to attack you in on the net, but meet them round the pub and it is all hugs and kisses. Hypocrites.

4. The Where-I-live-is-the-Best-Crowd:
These people can be anywhere in the world, expats or not. They constantly tell you that where they live is better than where you are living. For example: Glad I am in Australia because the weather in the UK sucks! Cape Town is the best, London is the best..blah die blah die blah.

Yes, we ALL know the the weather in the UK sucks. I am very aware that SA, Australia, New Zealand or any other place on the is earth for that matter, has greater weather than the UK. At times I am sorry that I don't live there at too, but I have to make do with what I have. I have to deal with the UK, so while I am here, please, give us a break. We have to keep a positive mindset over here, otherwise this gloom will drive us mad!

All places have their pro's and cons. We are very aware of our cons, but believe it or not, we also have our Pros. It is NOT the best place on earth to live, I miss home every day, but I do like the fact that I can go jogging at night all by myself, without a care in the world.

5. The-My-Maid (driver/nanny/housekeeper)-Is-Off-SickToday-How-Will-I-Cope-Mothers
Now if this is you, I am just plainly and simply going to hide you. I would give anything to have some help in the house, so purely out of jealousy, you annoy me.
Anyway, I will stop all this bitterness immediately. I could get into ALOT more detail, but I am probably just going to upset myself and a few of you. I am sure at the end of the week there will be loads more of these annoyances that rear their ugly heads, but for now I think I am going to avoid Facebook for a while.

O yes, I almost forgot. We did finally have our Fat Saturday again this past week. Ella is better at last and I have caught up on some well deserved sleep, so I actually had the energy to cook. Hopefully you don't see this as bragging, just as an encouragement to get all of you out there to try new things. I tried Prawn curry for the first time ever and something Jamie calls "coated ice cream". Follow the links below for the recipes. It was great.

Prawn Curry:
Follow the link for the recipe
http://www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/seafood-recipes/thai-red-prawn-curry-jasmine-rice-cucumb

Coated Ice Cream:
http://www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/vegetarian-recipes/spinach-aamp-feta-filo-pie-cucumber-sala

I've decided to only do one Fat Saturday a month from now on. There is just not enough time at the moment with two girls etc etc. I am sure my waist line will rejoice! . I will still blog whenever Mia lets me near the computer but for now..
Untill next month

And so it begins...

I've been thinking of something appropriate to write about, something inspiring for the new year, but I seem to be at a loss for words. This festive season, as all festive seasons, was really busy and Stefan and I have neglected our fat Saturday duties. Partially because of the lack of time, but mostly as it was a rather Fat Month. I mean do you really ever stop eating over December? At work people start bringing in cakes the day December dawns, all in anticipation of the celebrations to come. Then, in January, they bring all the left over cookies and chocolates and Christmas cake to tempt their office mates who haven't started their detox diets yet. So actually it is 2 months of eating. Well, I have decided it is time to slam on the brakes. I've downloaded this wonderful app on my iPhone that allows me to count calories during the day, so it is all systems go from here and the big battle against the bulge begins.

It has been a bit of an emotional few weeks. You always miss your family over Christmas. It makes me sad that my kids cannot spend it with their grandparents. Life is strange. You plan things when you are young, you imagine your life running a certain course, and then it ends up being completely different. Was it John Lennon that said: "life is what happens when you are making other plans"? I think it was him, not that I am a fan, but boy, did life hit him in the chest when I am sure he was planning to go and have a hot bath and a lie down. 

Back at work did not prove any less emotional.One of  my students was diagnosed with cancer over the festive season. I guess for him it was just a season, nothing festive about it. He is one of my favourite students and my heart is broken for him. He is my age. I am betting he did not plan for this to happen either. I guess he will now become one of us; The Slow Cooked Gang. It's a group of people I belong to (only figuratively speaking of course.) We have been made tender by exposing us to low heat over a very long period of time. At the start of the process ( although initially we would not have agreed with this statement at all) we were tough and hard to swallow, but as time progressed, we've become tender, easier to digest and if we are lucky, picked up a few good flavours along the way. See, this process cannot be rushed. It takes time, sometimes years to get rid of hard exteriors, bad habits and personality flaws. Slow, constant heat is all that does this. The only thing is that after you've been tenderised, there is no going back. Your view of life has become permanently altered and when you watch people throwing fits over trivia like the rise of student tuition fees, you can recognise that their time in the Slow Cooker has not yet begun.

The bad thing about this Slow Cooker thing is that you usually get shoved into it, rather unexpectedly. It is never a choice to go into one. I mean who is willingly going to go through such an unpleasant experience. Nope, you get shoved in, usually head first. Your initial reaction is always to try and climb out of the thing, cause lets face it, even low heat at a constant rate can eventually cook you all the way through. It's not a pleasant place to be and can be very lonely, but if the Cook knows what He is doing (and He always does) the end result is a tenderised soul.

When I look back, I definitely needed some time in the Slow Cooker of life. In fact, I think I am still in it, I have just got used to the heat.

So to all those who have spent time in life's little Dutch Oven, I propose you try out the recipe link for Ragu. It's amazing. If you rush this dish it is awful, but the longer it spends time in our Slow Cooking friend, the more delicious it becomes. Maybe, when you sit down to have a mouthful of this, it will give you hope that there is a reason for all of this happening to you and at the end, you will turn out one of the best dishes the Great Cook has ever created.

Until next week...

She came, she saw, she cooked a Christmas dinner...

Yes, it is true. The Christmas fairy does exist! Although she is actually a bit of an overweight, overworked mother of two, wearing an apron, rather than wings and armed with a mop instead of a wand! Everything got done, the presents were wrapped, meal was cooked and even the table looked great. I am not sure how I did it, but it got done in the end. Amazing, isn't it? Sometimes the best way of getting something done is just to start and then somehow, it gets there in the end. Although, I must admit, I did have a little help, no A LOT of help from my guests. Thanks a million to Kobus and Amanda for all the extra cooking and to Rika for the beautiful presents and for spoiling my kids rotten! All in all it was a wonderful Christmas and I am in serious need to start Weight Watchers tomorrow.

I hope all of you had a wonderful Christmas and will have a blessed new year. Who knows what is waiting for us in the year to come. All I know is that I am going to seriously have to take my weight into account, this Fat Saturday thing has actually extended into a Fat Month and now it is time to slam on the breaks. (Although the tray of Lindt Chocolates Rika left here does NOT help).

Lunch is served!

My beautiful Christmas table

Place Settings

 

I am sorry that the last few blogs have been so short, but as I explained before, it has been a bit hectic around here. I promise to add all the recipes I've tried out over the last few Saturdays in the new year. There was a wonderful Ragu we made with the Bakers a few Saturdays ago, but Ella's teeth has stood between me and finishing that blog. It is awesome and a must for winter, so I will post it as soon as the New Year festivities are over.

I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a glorious, blessed New year! From all here at Fat Saturdays (me, in other words), have a good one!

Until the new year...



It was the night before Christmas...

Well it is that time of the year again. The time where the magical Christmas Fairy comes and cooks a great meal for 6, decorates the house and the Christmas tree and wraps all the presents in beautiful paper and finishes each one off with a beautiful bow. Yes, that wonderful Christmas Fairy, how I cannot wait for her arrival at our house, for if she doesn't, I am afraid those presents are not going to wrap themselves, the lamb is going to stay in the fridge and the fairy lights are going to stay in their box. I've had all the best intentions to get things done sooner, but as my sanity is running out with a teething child on my hip, I know that if she is only "pretend", like her boss Santa, I am in big trouble.

See, there is another thing they forgot to inform (or warn) us about. When you become a mom, besides all the regular responsibilities, you also automatically inherit all the festive and celebratory responsibilities. These include all birthdays, religious celebrations like Christmas and Easter and also all Hallmark created frivolities. Yes, It is ALL your responsibility and when you do not deliver, you get pairs and pairs of tear stained eyes staring up at you, blaming you for ruining Christmas. I have no idea how my mother did it all. I just also accepted that these things happened all by themselves. I had no idea that it all depends on me! I think I am going to campaign for the day before Christmas to become a public holiday as well, as husbands have to be at work, and can thus be of very little help (or maybe that is why they do NOT have it as a Holiday yet!)

Anyway, let me get cracking, there is A LOT to do and only one of me. But one thing I do know, is that when Mia puts out the cookies and milk tonight for Santa, there will be a little apron and broom right next to it and some recipes a few ingredients. Maybe, just maybe, when we wake up tomorrow, Mia will find her wrapped presents under the tree and I will find a beautifully prepared meal and a clean house!

10 Things they should have taught us at University

OK, so I lied. I am addicted to it, I cannot go cold Turkey. It is impossible to go a week without it. I must moan again! And yes, it is, as always, about the same things: housework and children! Some may call me predictable, some may call it spoilt, but this superwoman thing is getting the better of me. I don't know how to do it all: work, kids, homework, husband. It's just too much. I know, I am weak, I know there are millions of woman out there who do exactly the same thing I do, but I am just wondering HOW? If you are out there and you are reading this and you are a superwoman, please could you share your pearls of wisdom with me!  I suppose it was less stressful when we didn't have kids,  at least everything stayed clean for longer than 2 seconds. But now, I turn my back to put something away, just to turn around and find something new in its place. And then, there is the actual work that they pay me to do and not to mention my poor husband. The poor man has to be satisfied with burnt dinners and a grumpy wife who is suffering from a serious lack of sleep due to a teething baby. Oi vey!

I definitely am lacking some serious skills in the mother/housewife department. Come to think of it. I studied to be an Architect for 5 years at university and the did 2 years practical at a firm in Hermanus, South Africa, before studying Building Contracts to write my Professional Practise exam. My subjects included Environmental Science, Theory of Structures, History of Architecture, Graphic Communication, Design and a whole bunch of other stuff I don't seem to remember. It was good, it was educational, but what I secretly wish is that they taught me something a little more useful! So as I am currently involved in curriculum development for Architecture students, I thought I would give it a bash to come up with a far more useful curriculum for Mothers-to-be. For instance, I would include subjects like:

1. Stain Removal for Beginners: Course Code: VomitOut 101

Students will be taught to remove any stains, caused by projectile baby vomit or other excretions, from delicate items of clothing, carpets or furniture. Learn how to remove Butternut Orange, Spaghetti Bolognese and Cottage Pie stains from the shoulder areas of a White Cotton shirt , Silk ties and  Suede cushion covers.
In this module, new mothers will also be taught the art of removing baby poop from white cotton vests. Students will investigate this delicate art by exploring different methods of bleaching, thus avoiding just dumping the said item in the nearest bin.

2. Multitasking for New Mothers (how to cope when you only have two hands):  Course Code: ToesRurFriend999

Here new mothers will be taught to look at their body in a different way. Feet are not just for walking, they can actually be an extra pair of hands, toes can be fingers, mouths and lips can also hold stuff. Thinking of your body in this new way opens up a whole new world of possibilities. (Please Note: ONLY Recommended for students with extra ordinary flexibility and dexterity)

3. How to be in two places at once for Mummies. Course Code: Stretch911

This course is recommended ideally suited for mothers with twins, triplets or generally those with more than one child, but other mothers, like those needing to work while watching a baby, will also benefit. For this module, we employed the services of a wonderful guest lecturer Elastagirl, from the hit movie The Incredibles. Elastagirl will teach you her secrets of stretching yourself to your limits and thus literally, being in two places at once. It is recommended that this subject is combined with the above mentioned Multitasking for New Mothers as body parts will have to be retrained to do the work of others. (Please Note: ONLY Recommended for students with extra ordinary flexibility and dexterity)

Elastagirl: Hand Stretch

Elastagirl: Leg Stretch

 

3. Extreme Showering ( from dirty to clean in 3.4 seconds): Course Code: Notsmelllikebabyvomit 123

Specially tailored for moms with babies who suffer from reflux and other ailments that prevent them from sleeping for longer than 5 seconds. In this subject you can learn to shower, wash your hair, dry off and at least put on a dressing gown in 3.4 seconds. (Module 2 includes Dressing with one hand while breastfeeding)

4. Fake grooming: Course Code: PasstheBroach101

How to fake looking well groomed, when you only had 3.4 seconds to shower and dressed yourself with one hand while breastfeeding a baby. Learn to fool even your colleagues by looking stunning at the office Christmas party after being vomited on by strategically accessorising.

5. Ignoring illnesses (how to make yourself believe you are feeling great, when you should actually be quarantined) Course Code: Achoo!!911

You are only imagining you are sick, but they really are! Learn to cope with the fact that when you are sick, every one in the house immediately becomes sicker than you. It is all mind over matter. You will feel better instantly (Please Note: The University will not accept any responsibility for actual death or hospitalization of students, this is just a coping mechanism, you ARE ACTUALLY sick!)


6. Juggling: Course Code: BigHands 10
This may seem obvious, but it is indeed one of your core subjects. In this day and age it is important for a new mother to learn how to juggle a career, family, marriage and stay thin at the same time (without going insane) as dropping one of these balls may have serious consequences. It does help to have done the course with Elastagirl before embarking on this Module, as severe stretching of all limbs is essential in order to pass this course.

7. Communicating with toddlers: Course Code: NoNoNoNoNo 111
How to repeat the same answer over and over and over and over...Students are advised to purchase a Dictaphone or similar equipment for this subject. There is nothing wrong with recording a few standard phrases like: "No!", "Put it down!" or "Because I said so!"

8. Sleep Deprivation for Beginners: Course Code: NightNight 2000
It is recommended that you start this training at least a year before you become a mother. Train yourself to cope with only 3 hours of sleep a night and if the baby sleeps allows you to sleep longer than this, it will seem like a gift from above. Please note: Never get lulled into a false sens of security that they are now sleeping through, there is always something that will make you regret you bragging to your friends about this later on!

9. Telepathic communication (with your partner): Course Code: Readmymind 101
When babies are finally sleeping it is sometimes impossible to verbally communicate with your partner (screaming is known to wake up a new born). It is thus important that you learn to telepathically communicate with your partner, especially if he/she is downstairs and you are in desperate need of a pee. Learn to transmit messages like "Please bring me another bottle before she starts screaming again" or "I need to go to the loo desperately so please come take over".

10.  Stay calm when times are tough. Course Code: Theydogrowupeventually 999
It is true, they do eventually grow up. This is a closing course to teach you stay calm, count to 10 and remember that they will eventually grow up. Students are advised not to mark the days till this happens on a calender or even purchase or make a type of baby advent calender for this purpose, as seeing the actually amount of days before they can walk, talk etc. may become depressing.
Students are advise to keep the following words of wisdom in mind when applying for the above course: "Motherhood: the longest days but the shortest years" Lady on British Airways flight to South Africa


What has this got to do with cooking you may think. ABSOLUTELY nothing! Stefan and I had a week from hell with a teething baby. I did manage to make the most beautiful Beef Ragu amongst all this mayhem on Saturday night, but I will blog about that later. I just had to get the above out of my system.

I wish for a peaceful night, I wish that we will get some sleep and I hope that I will remember to stay calm and keep in mind, that one day, she will grow up.

Until...later...

The madness continues.

I must stop moaning so much, but it is hard to give up something when you are so darn good at it! It is also one of my favourite past times and I try to do it as often as time allows. I really must stop, but before I go cold turkey, I will indulge myself one last time. Here goes:

Is it just me, or has this world gone mad? I know it is a cliche and every generation probably feels the same way, but seriously, being prohibited from filming your own daughter at her own ballet recital because it is against some Health and Safety law, must be the maddest thing I have ever heard. Health and Safety? Health and Safety! The new catch phrase to stop anybody from doing anything.
"Please do not let your children climb trees in this wood as it is against Health and Safety laws"
"Please do not take out a camera and record your daughter doing a twirl in her ballet outfit as it is against Health and Safety laws"
"Please do not sit on the grass..."
"Please do not tap some one on the shoulder.."
"Please do not ...blah..blah..blah..."
Lets all wrap our kids up in cotton wool, put them in little glass boxes and put on white rubber gloves when we take them out to disinfect their little cages. Good grief! I am sick and tired of all these laws, rights and thingemewhatsist that prohibit us from doing normal things. What about Common Sense Laws? Those who have it please use liberally, but I guess some Health and Safety officer will be quick as a whip to stop that from happening too, using some excuse like: Over usage of brain may cause independent thinking and who knows what that may lead to?

The only photo I took of Mia at her ballet recital before
I was told not stop this terrible behaviour!
I had to edit the other girls out of the picture for legal reasons.

I know all these rules and rights started off as a good idea, but boy have they gone sour. I guess I never understood the saying :"The road to hell is paved with good intentions", until now. I mean, these were all good intentions, but they have now all become our stepping stones to hell as we curse our way through life. Human Rights, good idea, but as we all know, this right has completely overstepped the mark as well. There are endless examples of the criminals rights being placed above the victims as we all know.
My husband can come up with some gems sometimes. As we were listening to some bloke babbling on LBC radio about something he said: "You know what the problem with the world is? They don't know the difference between discrimination and discernment". I thought that was rather wise and rather accurate. Do we still know what the difference is?

The worlds gone crazy and we all have to live in it. Who knows if we will be allowed to cross the street, make a fire or even cook our own food in the future. These are all very dangerous things. Maybe my Saturday night feasts will be a Health and Safety risk in the near future. Mad to think about, but will it become illegal to cook for friends? Will your kitchen have to have a Health and Safety inspector come around to check every time you invite people around for a meal. It may sound crazy, but you never know. It used to be okay for kids to go climb trees in the woods and to film your daughter in her ballet class.

Well, before this becomes the case, I at least got to light some birthday candles in my own house on Saturday evening. Yes, it was my birthday. I turned 29 again, for the 7th time. It was a mad evening. One thing I did learn is that parties at your own house in the UK is strictly for summer. Kids cannot play outside in the snow. Health and Safety and all! Boy, was it a bit crowded. I completely forgot to take pictures of the food. The only photo I did manage, was the kids blowing out my birthday cake (the best chocolate cake recipe in the world! See below!). Although it was chaos, I had to savour the moment as the little faces blew out the candles. One never knows how long this activity will still be allowed, maybe at my next 29th birthday I will have to let them use a fan to blow them out, or better still; have pictures of birthday candles. Surely nobody can get hurt from a candle drawn on a piece of paper! Well, that is if you do not consider paper cuts.

My 29th (+7) birthday cake.

Until next week....

Ouma Hannah's Chocolate Sponge Cake Recipe:


Mix together:

½ Cup of Boiling water
3 Table Spoons of Cocoa Powder

In a separate bowl, mix together:

1 Cup Flour
1 Cup Sugar
3 Tea spoons Baking Powder
½  Tea spoon salt
1 Tea Spoon Vanilla extract
1 Table Spoon Instant Coffee Powder
½ Cup Sunflower Oil
Mix the two mixtures together
In a separate bowl beat
4 Egg whites (stiff but not dry)

Mix the 4 yolks separately and add to the Flour Mixture

Fold in the egg whites.

Bake at 180 C ( I forgot for how long, but until you can stick in a knife and it comes out clear)

Leave to cool in the oven for a while before taking out.

Enjoy!This is the perfect cake for making those kiddie creations. I usually double the recipe to make a proper size cake.

3 Reasons I haven't blogged this week...

I know EVERY person in the UK is using the snow as an excuse.; my students, the post man etc etc. So I am going to jump on the bandwagon. I've not a moments' peace this week.

Reason 1:

Blame it on the snow..

Which led to Reason 2 and 3, staying at home due to school closure and illness...

Poor sick Ella

Mia experimenting with pony tails

Thus me missing work..

and not having a quiet moment to write a proper blog...

Please be patient...
next week should be better.

Although I can quickly mention that the Chicken Korma was great. Jamie does it again. Nothing like a curry on a snowy winter evening.

There they she goes again. It's no fun having or being a sick baby!
Until next week.

The Practical Prince

It is Prince and Princess fever over here. With the happy couple getting married on the 29th of April next year, the real life fantasy has begun. I mean, every girl dreams of marrying prince, right? Now here is some one actually doing it! But I guess, the term prince means different things to different types of girls and it also probably depends a lot on the age of the girl in question.

I mean, when you are a 4 year old little girl,your requirements are basic. Your prince:
1. Must own a horse, preferably one named Sparkles.
2. Must own a castle that should at least be covered in pink jewels.
3. Must have an above average aversion to evil stepmothers.

When you grown up, the criteria seems to change. He does not necessarily have to be a prince, a doctor or lawyer will do nicely. The horse becomes a Mercedes, the castle becomes a villa in Spain and the evil stepmother becomes, well, lets not go there. Anyway, you get the picture. Nothing wrong with that, but as I was putting the gezillionth load of washing into the machine and folding the umptieth pair of socks, I had a thought: Why do we not dream of the more practical type of "prince"? Let me explain: If you live in this country and your prince is a lawyer or a doctor or even a banker, laundry is still your baby. You can have the odd service to iron etc., but at the end of the day, does not matter how many degrees you have behind your name, at some point you are still going to fold somebodies underwear. Now my dear sister, as you know got married a few weeks ago, to a darling man. He is what I would describe as the perfect Practical Prince. Why you may ask. Well, I will tell you why: the man owns a LAUNDROMAT! Could you think of a more perfect? I mean, my sister will never ever have to wash a shirt in her life, let alone iron one! She also does not even have to drop the laundry off, she can give it to him to take to work in the morning. Now those are the kind of princes we need more of! Ladies, those of you who are not married yet, do not pull up your nose and the Indian Take Away owner or the Fish and Chip shop man. That's dinner covered. Do not look down on the Vacuum cleaner salesman, he can try out all his new models on your carpets,and the Window washer, do I even need to explain what a blessing he would be! To all my single friends out there, learn this lesson and learn it well. There is a lot to be said for these kind of blokes!
Now I am Katie will also never need to iron a shirt in her life, but if you are going to insist on going for that kind of Prince, it is going to be a long cold winter, cause lets face it, there ain't that many of them around. Well I suppose Harry is still on the loose, but lets be honest,  when he is looking to get hitched to a sugar mommy (cause yes, we are at the age where we can call ourselves sugar mommies!), it will be of the Demi Moore or Charelize Theron variety.

Well, sticking to the whole theme, I decided to keep it British this week. We are always cooking food from other countries, including our own, but never anything from the one we live in. So I made a meal fit for a Prince this past Saturday: Game Pie and Sticky Toffee Pudding. I envisaged a real regal pie. You know the dainty kind, the kind that when it is opened up, four and twenty black birds will start to sing all at the same time, but mine fell a bit flat. It is probably because I used a  game pie mix bought at Cobham market instead of the black birds. Yes, that must be it. To tell you the truth, I have no idea what was in the mix! I think it was pigeon and rabbit, but the third type of meat will remain a mystery. I am just glad that whatever it was, it did not burst into song when it was cut open. Probably a good thing, I don't know if a singing rabbit would have had the same affect.

The game pie still looking good

Oh dear. Yes well, atleast it tasted good.

 For afters (yes, that is what they call it here, not dessert, but afters) I made Sticky Toffee Pudding. I do not think that there is anything sweeter on earth than Sticky Toffee Pudding. I can't believe I am going to say this, but it was far too sweet for me. I had about a teaspoonful and that was enough to send me into a sugar shock for the next two days. Not my cup of tea darling, not my cuppa at all.

Sticky toffee pudding. As sweet as sweet can be.

..and then I made it worse by adding ice cream

Well I guess it is back to reality. Laundry and cooking and vacuuming here I come, but I do it all with love in my heart. I have a wonderful prince, he has been so good to me. I was just wondering, could I persuade my to open up a Laundromat as well? That would be awfully practical now wouldn't it?

Until next week.

The only thing we learn from history...

A wise man once said, the only thing we ever learn from history, is that we never learn anything from history. Nope, we, the top of the food chain with our over developed ideas and rationalisations, never seem to learn. It's not that we are stupid, or at least I hope it is that we are not stupid, it is just that we think that this time things will turn out better. It is like the Jerry Seinfeld bee in Bee Movie who tries over and over to get out of the window by flying straight into the glass, repeating the phrase "maybe this time, maybe this time..."

Well, maybe this time a royal marriage will last. Maybe this time the groom will not leave his gorgeous bride for one who reeks of cigarette smoke, grinning like an over brushed pony while reciting Hail Marys with the Pope. I find it ironic however, that the British media today insisted on comparing the engagement of Katie Middleton and her Prince William to that of his parents. Have they not read their own articles of the past 20 years?? Why on earth would you purposefully poke fate in the eye? Kate might have more luck by breaking her compact mirror while walking underneath a ladder towards Will in her wedding gown the day before they get married! I mean give the poor girl a break! It is bad enough that she has to wear her dead mother-in-laws engagement ring. I am so glad I got to choose my own and was not presented with a ring that signifies such an unhappy, broken marriage. The poor, poor girl. Lets hope she has the stomach for the job, for I sense round 2 of the paparazzi tunnel chasing madness may be upon us. And please, can all the new owners of Harrods please keep their sons safely tucked away in Qatar. It's bad enough that fate has a sore eye, we do not want to dangle a carrot in front of it as well.

Kate and Diana

compared in the Daily Mail today.

Photos from the Daily Mail

website: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/

I'm back...

 It is weird living in another country. You seem to forget where your actual home is. When you leave, you are all excited about going "home" and then when you are "home" you miss "home". Man it is confusing. I have no clue where home is anymore, all I know is that it is stressful going there, and it is stressful coming back. I wish I could go into more detail, but I guess the things that happended are too personal and I have to find a way of dealing with them myself. So I've decided to focus this blog on the lighter side of the events of the past few weeks when Fat Saturdays went  to Crawley and global, or rather African.

Fat Sat Part 1: Mia's Birthday

 

I am a mother ridden with guilt. My mother gave me the best birthday parties any child could ever imagine. I have the most wonderful memories of our "Shopping Party", " Maypole Party" etc etc. Every birthday I could request whatever cake I wanted. My poor mother! She made a cake that looked like a nurse when I was 5 and just came out of hospital, I had a kitten cake, I remember a Bennie Boekwurm cake and loads more. Before I had children I promised myself that I was going to do the same for them, a little too confidently I might add. So once again, this year, I asked my little girl what cake she would like for her fourth birthday party. The answer came as no surprise, a pink castle cake with all the trimmings. Well, little did I appreciate what my poor mother went through. There I was at 2 o'clock on a Friday evening, covered in pink icing and feeling very tired and upset that I took on such a mammoth task without having the proper equipment. At some point during the night, I felt like taking the pink pile of goo and dumping it all in the bin, but as my late nights at Archi school taught me, leave it till morning and decide then. Well, the person that had to be impressed, was and Stefan and I trekked this massive pink edible mountain through Crawley County Mall to the venue where Mia had her party. She was happy and I was happy that I could give my little girl the same thrill I had when my mother unveiled my cakes, although it cost me a lovely white shirt and a pair of trousers. I don't think I'll ever get the pink stains out of them...

My wonky pink castle cake

My mother did once again not disappoint. When we arrived in South Africa for Mia's actual birthday, guess what was waiting for her? The cake that tops any birthday cake I could ever make, a Barbie Princess cake! Who can beat that? I know it took a lot of work, but thanks Granny! What more could a four year old girl ask for, she got the castle and the princess living in it. WOW!

Ouma se Barbie koek

Fat Saturday Part 2: Madeleine

I have this friend called Madeleine. She is tall, has long black hair and wears contact lenses. She dresses in colourful clothes and sings while she plays the piano. She loves music and reading, hates racists and bigots and once you've tasted her cooking, you'd never want to eat any one else's. She is funny, she is bright and she is the most laid back person you'd ever meet. But what I love most about her, is that she will always take my side. I can tell her anything. She is always there for me, although she lives a gezillion miles away. She is my bestest friend in the whole wide world and I love her more that words can describe. We have been through so much together and we survived. Sometimes I cannot believe that we made it through that horrible night, but here we are, almost 15 years later, still friends and still alive. What a blessing.

I was so looking forward to spending a Fat Saturday with her and we did it in style. She invited friends around for dinner to her beautiful flat in Pinelands and we were going to do it like South Africans with "Kerrievis" for startes and "Vetkoek and mince" for mains.

We started off the day ingredients hunting at the Stellenbosch Slow Food Market. (I am so glad that I did not take alot of money with me. This is a place that you can get seriously fat with a capital F.) It is held every Saturday morning at the Oude Libertas Theatre in Stellenbosch. The food..the flavours..the wine. Too much to describe, best go try it out for yourself when next you are in the "bosch". I can however recommend the Moroccan pizza we had, which was somewhere between a pizza and a clazone. There is no better way to spend R50!

At the Slow food market

After this it was home time, and vertkoek making time. Now we are two pure bread South African girls. Can you believe that neither of us had ever made "Vetkoek" before! This was an injustice that had to be rectified and Madeleine jumped into the phone to dial her mother, the walking "Kook en Geniet". When Madeleine phones her mother at unexpected times, her mothers response is usually: "Watse resep soek jy?" (What recipe do you want?") before she even says "Hello". Armed with her "Vetrkoek" recipe, we started the lenghty, but well worth process. Mads, although you were not that impressed with your creation, the rest of us thought it was wonderful. Thank you to Pierre, Willemien, Nicky and Madeleine for the wonderful evening.

Fat Saturday Part 3: The Wedding

Weddings are emotional and stressful. I have just returned from such an emotional roller coaster. It was my little sisters wedding and she was beautiful. Probably the most beautiful bride I have ever seen. It was an absolute pleasure baking 260 heart shaped cookies, making 137 place cards, 26 menus, a table planner and decorating 12 tables. It was an absolute pleasure to see her so happy and it was an absolute pleasure meeting her new husband. One of the drawbacks of living on a different continent is that you are not always familiar with the people your siblings are betrothed to, but I think they both made a  good choice. I am so glad that I could be a part of their beautiful day.



My heart shaped cookies



I cannot however, restrain myself from offering little free advise to the owners of  LaPineta in Stellenbosch.Although your food was gorgeous and your venue stunning,  it is usually frowned upon when:

1. You make the bride cry the night before her wedding by referring to her as an unprofessional bride. As far as I know my sister had not made it her profession to be a bride. In fact I did not know that one could become a professional bride. No, wait a minute, I guess there are a few of them about. I am sure the likes of Angelina Jolie is selling seats to her weddings by now. She probably has a team ready to "wedding" her at any given moment. They are probably on 24 hour standby, armed with the latest Vera Wang gown and a truck load of confetti. You never know, you never know.

2. When you shout at some of the guests to "Gee Pad!" (Get out!) of the dining hall when they are examining the table plan. I think there is a more polite manner of asking people to exit the establishment, but that is just me.

3. When you ask the person setting the tables for 137 guests,  to start at 12:00am on the day of the wedding (and the wedding starts at 5pm). The person in question had to attend a family breakfast, help the bride get dressed, help the flower girl get dressed and also get herself dressed. People (meaning me) do careful planning before such an event and it is not always possible just to hand things over. Oi vey. What a headache.

But considering all the above, it was a wonderful wedding and everything looked great, if I must say so myself.

My heart shaped cookies in action

This Saturday coming up I going to opt for take aways, I do not want to see a cookery book or recipe near me. Time to sleep and recover, if the kids will let me. Ok, maybe not, maybe I will conjure up something for the hubby and I. I have missed him since I've been gone. We'll see...we'll see...

Untill next week...